About
Ben Trovato is the author of thirteen books, although you wouldn’t think so if you had to see his living conditions.
His notorious trilogy of letters illuminated the darkest recesses of the human psyche, while his self-help guide went a long way towards boosting divorce and suicide rates. He also wrote a book that almost turned golf into a blood sport and brought out a survival manual that caused more harm than good.
With a background in print and television journalism, Trovato’s popular newspaper columns have earned him a wicked reputation and a fatty liver.
He can often be found surfing instead of meeting his deadlines. Trovato lives alone with two regrets and a hangover.
I refer to an old comment from Piet Stassen (May 23, 2016), who called you ‘cynical & obnoxious’. You told him to fuck off. I think you should accept compliments, even somewhat understated ones, with more grace.
You’re right. I must have been having a bad day. Having said that, I don’t care what you think and don’t tell me what to do.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha – I just read your letter to Cyril and laughed until the tears ran down my cheeks. And I laughed at your reply to John Holloway above too. I love your writing and will definitely be following your future posts. Thanks for cheering me up!
i agree
Only just* stumbled across your “baa-ing” responses to various “bleatings” and simply put, just love your wit.
Am devo to read in the comments that you’ve been dropped by local rags (insert broken hearted emoji). Please keep yourself safe BT – your a national treasure!
*probably due to leaving RSA in 1986 – so long ago that I’ve lived in a few countries for about 5 years each before moving to Aus which is how Australians abbreviate, rather than the newly displaced who seem to be entertained by the idea of it being Oz! which it is not.
Your work is inspirational. Love your humour and love your segways from one thought to another. Keep up the great work.
I cancelled my Subscription on Monday 30th July. I was asked why I was doing so. I said that it was simply because Ben was bombed. Idiots!
Haha thanks Trevor
Trevor – Ben is searching for Jesus Christ … he just doesn’t know it yet. The Bible says: “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”[Colossians 2:8].
I found Jesus. He was behind the couch.
Oh christ Ben… I started laughing like a mad man at that comment here at work
Worst possible news – Sunday Tribune has cancelled your column – what idiots! I finally cancelled my subscription.
Howzit Ben
I read about you being fired and I have to say I was completely agog.
Not like that time I took your advice and tried LSD on the golf course (although I must have a word with you about that). More like most people feel like on a Monday. Not me though Monday’s are my favourite day.
It looks like I’m not the only one who likes making a mockery of the week. I was wondering if you being let go had anything to do with our wonderful Ministers who love having their daily master strokes high-lighted in the press? They are the real pros at making a mockery of everything, especially the voters. I guess the Sunday Tribune editors must do their bidding before, well before they um get let go.
I’m going to cancel my subscription.
I promised myself yesterday that I would today, but well it’s Monday. Anyway tomorrow, and I sincerely hope I’m not alone. Viva freedom of the press from the press and by the press.
Shit I think I’m gonna have another drink. Its a bit early I know, but it is Tuesday.
Stuff the “wisdom” that is supposedly to come with age. Give me the agility and virility of youth any day. To wash it down, send me Trovato’s satire by the truckload.
Hello Ben, thanks for your p*ss taking. Refreshing, especially living in Oz where do-gooders, the politically correct and the sensitive roam untethered, moaning about Everything. Right now the news has front face about the deputy prime minister making a junior staffer with child. The complaints are about using tax payers money inappropriately.
If the opportunity arose for you to visit Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne,Australia, please take it. I am too poor to make it happen but you you surely have some rich friends. You will have fertile ground for p*ss taking, especially in Sydney. The locals surely will dismiss your work as puerile satire, but for those who enjoy life will follow you until the collection plate is passed about.
All the best, Colwyn Scheepers
Ja boêt – from Brissie, with much the same sentiment.
Ozzie news…yawn.
No paper towels in the NHS ward, so sadly the patients had to resort to toilet paper. OMG! [That was before the PandaPandemic2019]
Cancelling my Sunday Tribune subscription for obvious reasons. How can I subscribe to your weekly column? Would hate to miss it – the best.
Hey Margie. I usually post the column on this site – my blog. Which you can subscribe to. Apparently.
Er, what?
Ben Trovato….oh…. may have hated your mother…but her lady bits initiated your miserable and vitriolic existence! You show no signs of gratitude…and sincerely hope all women you deal with are hiding their lady bits as obviously no joy from you. `hope a TG or manbits help you.
Sincerely
Gil;lian
Are you okay, Gillian? I hope you have the paramedics on speed dial.
I like this Idea of winter in Durban and Summer in Cape Town but where will spring and Autumn be spent??
to ben trovato
SUBSCRIBE
Ben, urgently need you to send me your contacts for an interview around your piece on the 90% SA music. My email is jsasvat@gmail.com
Thanks
Hi Jasmyn
It’s bentrovato@mweb.co.za
Just read your book :))))))))
And you never killed yourself? That’s a good sign.
Hello… This is my first day on WordPress! I am starting to write something right now…would you like to follow me?
Your name means “appropriate and characteristic even if untrue; happily invented or discovered.” Were you aware of this?
of course he knew – that’s where it came from
Thanks, Loud Mouthed Chick. I’m sure I’ll love yours too once I work out how to subscribe or follow or whatever the fuck it’s called.
I am loving your blog!
Oh for a world with more minds like yours… Love it!!!
Cheers for your rants – you are a fucking laugh and three quarters. I’ll keep coming back and looking forward to it – it’s a bit late for me just now but i will write again. Until then – all the best to you. (Raising a glass of black stuff – ”Glug”.)
What’s a bloke like you doing over at my joint?
Ok, so varsity is overrated. Now I know, having spent the last six or so years there.
Anyway, call me a doos if you will, but I’ve only discovered and begun to follow your blog recently. It seem your balls are bigger than mine, and so I’ve enjoyed your posts, particularly such good advice on how to conduct one’s self during that interview which never seems to come.
Sir Ben, I would consider it an inestimable honour if you could take some time out of your very busy schedule to follow my blog. You may be interested to know that I have heeded a call to duty and proceeded to do some gentle JuJu bashing. It now appears that I need to up the ante as the red berets have now proceeded to appropiate my favourite watering holes.
Nevertheless, We’ll keep in touch. Yes?
Cheers,
Mark
please write something about the Rohingya , your writing style is so catchy and so telling of the hypocrisies of governments.
happy to find your blog sites
It was quite legit – although Ben indicated he would not be interested in anything with a Christian slant – a feature of our film work. I did indicate that we would still be interested at looking at the synopsis he had already concluded for a third party. We still are….
And yes, how did ‘Diana’ know about this. Who are you Diana?
I also saw the same as Diana. Paul posted a comment re the film offer on 27 May.
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!
Hi Paul. I sent you two completed scripts, after which you said you’d be interested in meeting with me in Durban. I said that would be fine. Never heard from you again.
Just a big fan of Ben Trovato – nothing more – and curious as to what transpired after you initially requested his email details and mentioned a film offer.
During May this year he asked for your email address stating that he had a legit offer for you. I’m curious as to how legit it was…..
What happened to the film offer from Paul Nel?
How do you know about the film offer?
Trying to find images to add to an interview you’ve recently done. Found this site – http://bentrova.to/ – so whenever someone searched Ben Trovato, these half naked, suggestive images come up. hahaha. It’s great.
I cannot seem to find your contact details. I have a film offer for you. Oh, by the way, I’m Paul from Watercolours International Pictures – and no, this is not a joke!
What took you so long? It’s bentrovato@mweb.co.za.
Hello Ben – love, love your column but tell me, what do you really look like?
Oh no, that would destroy the mystique. Plus he would probably be arrested or shot for using words as weapons of mass destruction. Perhaps he’s really Brenda?
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!
Oh wow, what a thought to get ones mind around.
Hideous. A cross between Quasimodo and the Abominable Snowman.
Best keep it hidden!
Adonis!
Fantastic observation, however!
Glad I can help. You could always buy the Sunday Times, you know. I’ve been writing for them ever since the Cape Times/Witness five years ago.
Too many awful supplements in Sunday papers. Doing my bit to preserve the rain forests. Plus I’m too miserly to spend the cash
Cheap bastard.
Do you happen to write for new publications?
No new publications. Just the Sunday Times. They own me exclusively.
Mourned the loss of your column In the Witness. Relieved to be able to return to reading the gospel of the insane. Thanks for brightening up my life!
Hi Helen
I was told there was “no space” for my column this week. Feel free to express your outrage by sending an email to stletters@sundaytimes.co.za
Hopefully they’ll find space for me next week.
Glad you like the column.
Hi Ben, I so enjoy your weekly column in the Sunday Times….and today (10 Feb) nothing! !
What happened? ??
Regards. Helen
bentrovato@mweb.co.za
Hi Ben, I’ve searched for an email address for you all over the net, with no avail. Could you please supply me with one. Thanks!
A ‘No Comment’ will be my comment.
What a pleasure to read your posts – nothing like a rare treat of genius to brighten up an otherwise miserably overcast and rainy Cape Town day!
Ben Trovato, can you be our Zuma. Your Mieliejuana diet makes my Sundays.
I had almost forgotten about my plans to flood the market with mieliejuana. That’s the problem with this crop. It plays havoc with your memory. Thanks for reminding me.
I always knew that you were a clever chappie, but now it is clear that you are an even more cleverer chappie than I first thought. I was looking up a word that I had read and didn’t know the meaning of. It wasn’t in my dictionary, but near to where it should have been, I found you. So, ben trovato, you are a very clever chappie. Most appropriate. dme27.
Thanks for the pat on the head. Will you be taking me for walkies any time soon?
we likeses brenda, yessss we does my preshussss….
I am not even in South Africa and I would trade you for Zuma..<3
Dear Ben,
Your vitriolic criticism of Errol Naidoo, a man who pursues the noble values of Jesus of Nazareth our blessed Saviour, was unkind and unnecessary. I also used to be like you, i.e. cynical & obnoxious, but Jesus Christ changed it all. The Bible says:
[1 John 1:7 KJV] But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. [1 John 1:8 KJV] If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. [1 John 1:9 KJV] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
May God bless you anyway and by His precious Holy Spirit (the ‘Paracletos’ or ‘Comforter’) lead you to an appreciation for the ministry, teachings, sacrifice and righteousness of that humble carpenter-rabbi from Nazareth.
Kind regards,
Piet Stassen
Pretoria
South Africa
God bless you too, my son. Now fuck off.
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Thank you for making us smile even when we want to cry!