09
Feb
Kallie Kriel – chief beneficiary of the Dunning-Kruger Effect
Here's something I wrote to AfriForum's Kallie Kriel almost seven years ago. The poor oke has been at this for a long time...
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Hello Oom Kallie. How is it going with Oom? Is it...
30
Jan
In the war between beer and nature, beer will always win
One from the archives....
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Why am I being badgered by bearded women demanding that I vote for Table Mountain? The last time I voted for anything was in 1994, and look where th...
30
Jan
Snakes and adders – A devil of a game
I caught a snake on my eleventh birthday. Not one of those scary big-ass mothers that can squeeze you to death and swallow you whole. I didn’t grow up in the Amazon jungle, even though my table manner...
15
Jan
Dear six-year-old kids …
I usually write to our high school “graduates” offering bad advice on how to negotiate the perils of the real world, but there’s nothing I can do for Generation D. That stands for Doomed, in case you ...
11
Jan
ANC’s January 8 statement leaked
Comrades and compatriots,
People of South Africa,
We gather here today in Mangaung, the cradle of our birth, inspired by … hold on, this is last year’s speech. Nobody wrote me a new one? It doesn’t ...
09
Jan
The buck stops here
"New study confirms four distinct giraffe species, unlocking crucial insights for conservation efforts" — this headline reminded me of a giraffe story I wrote a while ago.
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07
Jan
That time I went to the circus
I did something the other night that I haven’t done since I was a kid. No, not wet the bed. I went to the circus. It was set up on a nearby field and I didn’t have anything on so I drove down there, b...
26
Dec
Still no Jesus among Xmas babies
I like to think of this week as the year’s perineum. In 2025 we’re either going to hit the sweet spot or find ourselves even deeper in the … okay, that’s about as far as I’m going with that particular...
18
Dec
Things to do with the kids
School holidays should be abolished.
Our creaking infrastructure and shattered nerves can no longer withstand the blitzkrieg of semi-educated savages at the end of every year. There should be new r...
16
Dec
Jingle Hells
All that is preventing hostilities from breaking out in shopping mall parking lots across the country are the Congolese and Rwandan car guards. They have seen some terrible things, and I’m not even ta...
15
Dec
Letters to Santa…
Cyril Ramaphosa: Dear Santa, I have been good this year. On the other hand, perhaps I haven't. It is hard to say. I am applying my mind and will let you know in due course. As a fan of your work, I am...
06
Dec
Whale to go, Iceland!
Good news for whale-haters! Iceland has just authorised whale hunting for the next five years.
Under the new permits, 209 fin whales and 217 minke whales can be caught during each year's whaling seas...