aviation Archives - BEN TROVATO

28 Dec

Welcome to Pandemic Air

December 28, 2020
By Ben Trovato
7 comments

I am sitting under a tree in the northern hemisphere in the middle of winter with barely any clothes on. Before you start feeling sorry for me, I should add that hypothermia is not about to set in any...

05 May

Columns

Airplanes, Wedding Trains and the CAR

May 5, 2013
By Ben Trovato
8 comments

“If you love me, you will obey my commandments – John 14:15.” And so it is with Trovato 07:45. Or, if I oversleep, 10:30. President Jacob Zuma is also big on this parable or homily or whatever the he...

17 Mar

Columns

Here’s To Alcohol: The cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems

March 17, 2013
By Ben Trovato
3 comments

Instead of trying to find a cure for Aids, medical researchers should rather concentrate on finding a cure for hangovers. Sure, most hangovers won’t kill you, but more of us suffer from them. And whe...

21 Jan

Columns

An Open Letter to President Jacob Zuma

January 21, 2013
By Ben Trovato
0 comments

Dear Msholozi, I am a huge fan of yours and an even bigger supporter of the ANC, that glorious revolutionary movement to which I would dearly love to belong. Since you are the party’s number one memb...

13 Jan

Columns

Cut Me, Baby, Cut Me Good

January 13, 2013
By Ben Trovato
1 comment

With Brenda gone and a new year unraveling before my bloodshot eyes, it seems an opportune time to take stock of my physical condition. The degree to which men allow themselves to go to seed once the...

06 Jan

Columns

Looking for a Sign in 2013? Have You Checked Uranus?

January 6, 2013
By Ben Trovato
4 comments

After a close encounter with a celestial body on New Year’s Eve, I had an epiphany so powerful that I had to go home and change my broeks. It was downhill from then on. All indications are that 2013 ...

30 Dec

Columns

Up Yours, 2012

December 30, 2012
By Ben Trovato
2 comments

It has been such a fabulous year. My mother died, Brenda ran off and shagged a welder in Hermanus and the appalling Jacob Zuma is with us for the next seven years. I can hardly wait to see what 2013 ...

16 Dec

Columns

It’s Blood River All Over Again

December 16, 2012
By Ben Trovato
2 comments

Today, 174 years ago, the Voortrekkers defeated a Zulu army at the Battle of Blood River. And today, the Boers and the Zulus will join forces to defeat me at the Battle of Gateway Shopping Centre. Th...

14 Dec

Columns

An Open Letter to Santa Claus

December 14, 2012
By Ben Trovato
1 comment

Dear Santa, When I told my friend Ted I was writing to you, he asked whether I had recently suffered a severe blow to the head. He said any idiot knows that Santa doesn't exist. This, from a man who ...

02 Dec

Columns

An Open Letter to Angie Motshekga, Minister of Basic Education

December 2, 2012
By Ben Trovato
3 comments

Dear Comrade Angie, Well done on getting the league to nominate Jacob Zuma for a second term as coxswain of the national gravy boat. Without him leading from the stern for another five years, the goo...

02 Dec

Columns

What To Do With The Feral Ingrates

December 2, 2012
By Ben Trovato
1 comment

School holidays should be abolished. Our creaking infrastructure and shattered nerves can no longer withstand the blitzkrieg of semi-educated savages at the end of every year. There should be new ...

25 Nov

Columns

Kissing Cousins And Strip Mines

November 25, 2012
By Ben Trovato
1 comment

I was going to write about politics this week but the moment I typed the word “Mangaung”, I projectile vomited. I tried again and again and each time I lost more and more of my lunch. The sound I ma...

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