Ben Trovato, Author at BEN TROVATO

25 Nov

Dear Comrade Premier Panyaza Lesufi…

November 25, 2023
By Ben Trovato
3 comments

Congratulations on having the courage to embark on your long unofficial journey to the presidency. People say you're a populist as if that's a bad thing. Who doesn't want to be popular? I have been un...

22 Nov

Columns

A Survival Guide to Black Friday

November 22, 2023
By Ben Trovato
6 comments

It’s that time of year when we all turn into gibbering idiots and so-called experts take it upon themselves to advise us on the blindingly obvious. The annual plummeting of the national...

18 Nov

Columns

Militia madness and other tales of mayhem

November 18, 2023
By Ben Trovato
8 comments

In South Africa, you needn't be an extremist nutjob to be anti-government. In fact, given the ANC's track record, it would be almost unpatriotic to give them your unquestioning support. But, like most...

09 Nov

Cut&Run

Of Stalingrad, Gaza and Floyd the Fluffer

November 9, 2023
By Ben Trovato
9 comments

I was wondering on Monday, my thinking day, why don't we have cheaper petrol since Big Oil is making record profits? Raking in millions of dollars in the time it took me to write that sentence. Then I...

27 Oct

Cut&Run

Enjoy Durbs not-by-the-sea

October 27, 2023
By Ben Trovato
7 comments

The ANC in KwaZulu-Natal says Jacob Zuma will lead its campaign ahead of next year's general election. What a good idea. Durban is like one of those burned-out racehorses who break a leg and have to b...

05 Oct

Cut&Run

Mad Thabo: Beyond Blunderdome

October 5, 2023
By Ben Trovato
13 comments

So the Bluff's very own Imperator Furiosa could face charges for chasing after a bag-snatcher and mowing him down with her Tazz. That it was a woman from the Bluff doesn't surprise me. Rough area, rou...

29 Sep

Cut&Run

Neither virgin nor active

September 29, 2023
By Ben Trovato
10 comments

I saw a magazine article this week suggesting now would be a good time to start getting my body “beach-ready”. Living as I do in Cape Town, there is only one way to survive this endless hellish winter...

21 Sep

Cut&Run

September 21, 2023
By Ben Trovato
10 comments

Food, eh. What a ridiculous concept. We pay a fortune for it, shovel great steaming heaps into our gaping maws and then, a few hours later, it comes out the other end in a terrible state. This is how ...

14 Sep

Cut&Run

Of the Rugby World Cup and other homoerotic tales

September 14, 2023
By Ben Trovato
5 comments

South Africans are among the heaviest drinkers in the world in terms of both body weight and quantities consumed. We’re not quite top of the log yet, but the Rugby World Cup is pushing us closer to Zi...

09 Sep

Cut&Run

Dear Prince Mohammed bin Salman…

September 9, 2023
By Ben Trovato
8 comments

Congratulations on getting invited to join Brics, a grouping that was surely created with Saudi Arabia in mind. Your nation's impressive human rights record is second only to that of Cambodia during t...

01 Sep

Uncategorized

The Secret Diary of Carl Niehaus (aged 63¼)

September 1, 2023
By Ben Trovato
9 comments

December 25, 2022 Happy birthday, Jesus! But more importantly, happy birthday, me! Today I am … wait, let me go fetch my calculator. Born in 1959 and today is 2022 so that makes me, um, 3981 years ol...

23 Aug

Cut&Run

Kicking against the Brics

August 23, 2023
By Ben Trovato
13 comments

Since today falls in the middle of the Bric's meeting, it seemed right to send each leader a personalised message. President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva: Bem-vindo! You will feel right at home here bec...

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