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~ the literary equivalent of sex with a clown ~

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BEN TROVATO

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~ the literary equivalent of sex with a clown ~

Columns

It’s Blood River All Over Again

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
December 16, 2012
2
Today, 174 years ago, the Voortrekkers defeated a Zulu army at the Battle of Blood River. And today, the Boers and the Zulus will join forces to defeat me at the Battle of Gateway Shopping Centre. Th...
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Columns

What To Do With The Feral Ingrates

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
December 2, 2012
1
School holidays should be abolished. Our creaking infrastructure and shattered nerves can no longer withstand the blitzkrieg of semi-educated savages at the end of every year. There should be new ...
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Columns

Kissing Cousins And Strip Mines

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
November 25, 2012
1
I was going to write about politics this week but the moment I typed the word “Mangaung”, I projectile vomited. I tried again and again and each time I lost more and more of my lunch. The sound I ma...
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Columns

Sea Point Promenade Is Hell On Wheels

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
October 9, 2012
4
Last weekend I was beginning to think there was nothing worth living for when it suddenly occurred to me that Monday marked the start of Transport Month. Oh, what joy! Hurrah! Hurrah! A chorus of ...
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Columns

Application For The Post Of CEO Of Armscor

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
August 26, 2012
3
Dear Sir/Madam, I was alarmed to learn that Armscor does not currently have anyone in charge. With no pilots to fly the Gripens and our submarines up on bricks, our flanks are vulnerable to warmonger...
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