An Open Letter to Mitt Romney – Republican Party nominee for President of the USA
My darling Mitt,
LOL! Just kidding. I'm straight.
But I do think you're awesome. Your hair is awesome. Your teeth are awesome. Even your name is awesome. Mitt.
Being named after a baseball glove i...
Tapping My Inner Woman
There's a lot of pretending going on in this country right now. Municipalities are buckling under the weight of freeloading lickspittles pretending to be interested in their jobs. The government is be...
Spanking The Olympic Monkey
“The South African nation is today filled with pride and joy,” decreed presidential spokesman Mac Maharaj on Tuesday.
This was astounding news. The nation is usually filled with anger, resentment, r...
A Doomed Attempt To Narco-Load On Mandela Day
On Mandela Day, the entrance to Addington Hospital resembled the entrance to the municipal market in Maputo when a fresh shipment of cocaine arrives.
The doorway was jammed with hawkers, hustlers, m...
Thank You For Not Sharing
Much like alcohol and organised religion, Facebook can ruin your health, wreck your marriage and make you appear stupider than you are.
However, it brings great happiness and joy in so many other way...
And The Golden Globe Goes To …
Brenda made me stay up late and watch the Golden Globes with her. There are few things capable of holding my interest after midnight and a yowling strumpet wrapped in tin foil gushing all over people ...
Please, Sir, May I Have Some Economy?
When President Jacob Zuma said on Tuesday that the economy was still in the hands of white males, I was filled with shame.
Actually, at the time I was filled with beer but after visiting the little ...
Happiness Is A Warm Molotov Cocktail
I was saddened to read this week that we are one of the ten unhappiest countries in the world. What the hell is wrong with us?
Looking around, reading the papers and listening to people talk, I woul...
Douglas Daft Denies Doctoring Dindar’s Drink
Doctor Haroon Dindar of Mpumalanga was outraged when he discovered there was alcohol in a bottle of Coca-Cola he bought from the Coke depot in Ermelo.
The company admitted liability, saying the alcoh...
The Great White – From Predator To Prey
White South Africans, much like white sharks, are one of the most misunderstood animals on the planet.
They have a reputation for unpredictable behaviour and non-Caucasians are often afraid to ventu...
Running From The Comrades
By the time you read this, I will be on the road somewhere between Pietermaritzburg and Durban.
Yes, indeed. I am running in the Comrades Marathon. My first ever.
I found myself in the area quite by...
Chop Their Filthy Little Heads Off
Dear Comrade Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma the First, by the Grace of God President of the Republic of South Africa, Head of the Household, Defender of the Faith, Pastor of the Flock, Defeater of the Mbek...