Thank You For Not Sharing
Much like alcohol and organised religion, Facebook can ruin your health, wreck your marriage and make you appear stupider than you are.
However, it brings great happiness and joy in so many other way...
And The Golden Globe Goes To …
Brenda made me stay up late and watch the Golden Globes with her. There are few things capable of holding my interest after midnight and a yowling strumpet wrapped in tin foil gushing all over people ...
Please, Sir, May I Have Some Economy?
When President Jacob Zuma said on Tuesday that the economy was still in the hands of white males, I was filled with shame.
Actually, at the time I was filled with beer but after visiting the little ...
Happiness Is A Warm Molotov Cocktail
I was saddened to read this week that we are one of the ten unhappiest countries in the world. What the hell is wrong with us?
Looking around, reading the papers and listening to people talk, I woul...
Douglas Daft Denies Doctoring Dindar’s Drink
Doctor Haroon Dindar of Mpumalanga was outraged when he discovered there was alcohol in a bottle of Coca-Cola he bought from the Coke depot in Ermelo.
The company admitted liability, saying the alcoh...
The Great White – From Predator To Prey
White South Africans, much like white sharks, are one of the most misunderstood animals on the planet.
They have a reputation for unpredictable behaviour and non-Caucasians are often afraid to ventu...
Running From The Comrades
By the time you read this, I will be on the road somewhere between Pietermaritzburg and Durban.
Yes, indeed. I am running in the Comrades Marathon. My first ever.
I found myself in the area quite by...
Chop Their Filthy Little Heads Off
Dear Comrade Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma the First, by the Grace of God President of the Republic of South Africa, Head of the Household, Defender of the Faith, Pastor of the Flock, Defeater of the Mbek...
A Wunch Of Bankers
Let us, for argument's sake, agree that I was having a business lunch at, say, Teazers on Tuesday.
I am speaking hypothetically, of course. I would never lower myself to indulge in something so repu...
An Open Letter To Cape Town Mayor Patricia de Lille
Dear Patsy,
Please reconsider your plan to give the Freedom of Cape Town to American president Barack Obama and his wife. I am not saying this because I am a racist which I am not.
I have two black...
The Six Stages of Grief
Brenda has left me. Not alone, of course. She is far too vindictive for that. She has left me with our monstrosity of a son and a skanky cat called Boris.
She moved out when I went to the shops for a...
Piston Broke – The Story Of My Life
Many of you have been sending cards, flowers and even boxes of African spitting scorpions in the wake of the brutal murder of my beloved Hyundai.
Thank you for your condolences, but that's enough no...