BEN TROVATO

Men in white coats tell us that hangovers are caused by the excessive intake of alcohol. Funny, then, how it was men in white coats saying, “Can I bring you another?” that caused all the trouble in th...

Right, now that the pleasantries are over, could I ask you to please stop shnarfing our rhino horn in the deluded belief that it can cure hangovers. It does nothing of the sort, you idiots. If it did,...

Every time I pick up a newspaper or turn on the television I am confronted by a special report on the highlights of the year gone by. Quite frankly, I have had enough of it. For a start, we know what ...

I have often wondered who are the real snitches of the dog underworld. The informants. The impimpis and the impuppies. The dogs that feign loyalty and then turn on you when you least expect it. I am n...

Choppers buzzed low over the beach. Rescue boats fitted with powerful engines circled beyond the breakers. The wail of ambulance sirens filled the air. A colourless, odourless mist hung heavy along a ...

To wake to the sound of church bells and the distant crump of mortars landing in Beersheba. To see the early morning sky light up as Israeli helicopter gunships unleash their missiles. To smell the te...

The decorations in the mall seem to lack something of the Christian ethos this year. When I was growing up, you could barely move for cheerful scenes of the crucifixion and mawkish tableaus of ceramic...

Dear Santa, I remember, as a child, my mother saying: "Santa won't bring you any presents if you're naughty." I would ask how Santa could possibly know if I had been bad and she would answer: "Santa ...

The best part of Christmas shopping is driving into one of those monstrously phallic parking garages and discovering that it ascends in tightly wound spirals. The secret lies in steadily increasing yo...

Jacob Zuma's release on medical parole reminded me of a letter I wrote to our former police chief Jackie Selebi 10 years ago. Say what you like about him, he, unlike Schabir Shaik, at least had the de...

So, wrapping up the tortuous trilogy that constitutes my vacation. The Land Rover broke down again. This time in J-Bay. I think the mechanic said something about a shattered cone in the shock. I could...