I have been inundated with requests – mostly from Mrs V Stopforth of Glenashley – to make more of my books available to agoraphobics, prisoners, quadriplegics and anyone else who has difficulty getting to a library or bookshop. Not that you’re likely to find any of my books at either.

I am therefore delighted to report that two more titles on my increasingly irrelevant backlist are now available as downloads on this very site. Stirred Not Shaken is the third book in my trilogy of letters in which … if I have to explain, you’re probably not going to buy it. The other title is Hits & Missives, a collection culled from the trilogy itself.

You can find them under the Contraband link at the top. On the right. Above the PayFast and PayPal links where … oh, you haven’t seen those either? Apparently not.

You’re going to have to hurry, though. In an unprecedented surge of apathy, my site almost crashed today when millions of people failed to visit it.