09
Oct
Sea Point Promenade Is Hell On Wheels
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By
Ben Trovato
Last weekend I was beginning to think there was nothing worth living for when it suddenly occurred to me that Monday marked the start of Transport Month.
Oh, what joy! Hurrah! Hurrah!
A chorus of ...
16
Sep
Dr Piazza’s School Of Conflict Resolution
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By
I like Facebook. It's full of cuddly animals, happy families and squirrelly sociopaths. Amidst this foul repository of inexcusable spelling errors and grammatical atrocities committed by people who re...
26
Aug
Application For The Post Of CEO Of Armscor
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By
Dear Sir/Madam,
I was alarmed to learn that Armscor does not currently have anyone in charge. With no pilots to fly the Gripens and our submarines up on bricks, our flanks are vulnerable to warmonger...
05
Aug
Spanking The Olympic Monkey
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By
“The South African nation is today filled with pride and joy,” decreed presidential spokesman Mac Maharaj on Tuesday.
This was astounding news. The nation is usually filled with anger, resentment, r...
22
Jul
A Doomed Attempt To Narco-Load On Mandela Day
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By
On Mandela Day, the entrance to Addington Hospital resembled the entrance to the municipal market in Maputo when a fresh shipment of cocaine arrives.
The doorway was jammed with hawkers, hustlers, m...
19
Jul
Welcome To Club Dead
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By
From: bentrovato@mweb.co.za
To: hatemyavuz@superonline.com
Subject: For the attention of Mr Hatem Yavuz of the Hatem Yavuz Group, purveyors of fine pelts and furs
Dear Mr Yavuz,
I understa...
08
Jul
Thank You For Not Sharing
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By
Much like alcohol and organised religion, Facebook can ruin your health, wreck your marriage and make you appear stupider than you are.
However, it brings great happiness and joy in so many other way...
24
Jun
Happiness Is A Warm Molotov Cocktail
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By
I was saddened to read this week that we are one of the ten unhappiest countries in the world. What the hell is wrong with us?
Looking around, reading the papers and listening to people talk, I woul...
20
Jun
Douglas Daft Denies Doctoring Dindar’s Drink
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By
Doctor Haroon Dindar of Mpumalanga was outraged when he discovered there was alcohol in a bottle of Coca-Cola he bought from the Coke depot in Ermelo.
The company admitted liability, saying the alcoh...
10
Jun
The Great White – From Predator To Prey
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By
White South Africans, much like white sharks, are one of the most misunderstood animals on the planet.
They have a reputation for unpredictable behaviour and non-Caucasians are often afraid to ventu...
20
May
A Wunch Of Bankers
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By
Let us, for argument's sake, agree that I was having a business lunch at, say, Teazers on Tuesday.
I am speaking hypothetically, of course. I would never lower myself to indulge in something so repu...
06
May
Trovato In National Honours Outrage
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By
This is the fourth consecutive year in which I have neither killed nor raped anyone. I have refrained from hijacking cars and taking hostages. I have paid my taxes and some of my traffic fines. I cont...