28
Mar
No more Mr Freebie guy…
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By
Ben Trovato
Right, then.
Every once in a while, I get the need to shake things up. That's my five-year plan. Try to fix stuff that isn't broken. Ruin a good thing. Fill the comfort zone with pepper spray and loc...
20
Dec
Xmas shopping for the cheapskates and the drunk
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By
It’s that time of year when the ravening dogs of capitalism are out of the cages and straining at their leashes. Their eyes are red and wet and their foam-flecked jaws snap and slaver. Soon they will ...
21
Mar
Read it and weep (with laughter)
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By
Right. Since we are all essentially trapped in our homes, we're going to need to find things to laugh about if we aren't going to turn on each other like rats in a cage. Making fun of each other's sho...
15
Jan
Pulp non-fiction – A murder story
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By
In the perilous world of publishing, there is something called 'sales or return'. It works like this. Bookshops will order so many copies of a new title. If those get sold, they might order more.
U...
20
Nov
Buy buy baby
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By
Hark, the Christmas tills do ring. The season of giving, taking, looting, stabbing and shooting is almost upon us. The Little Drummer Boy has already driven me from at least two malls.
All you can ...
06
Nov
Get your Durban Poison here!
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By
I promised that my new book would be available on my website and, lo, it has come to pass. Praise be.
I'm happy to devalue your copy by scribbling something in it. If you want it inscribed to someo...
03
Nov
Boks, beer and a brand new book
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By
Right. It's the day after the big win and I know how you are feeling. But you're in luck. I happen to have the perfect cure for a crushing hangover. It's my new book, Durban Poison, and it will help t...
13
Mar
The Ben Trovato Files
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By
Who among us doesn't remember satirist Ben Trovato's outrageously subversive trilogy of letters to and replies from the rich, famous and downright dangerous? Well, the madness continues as the letters...
13
Feb
On brave Americans and goats of darkness
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By
Dear Bryan,
I do apologise. The world is full of inconsequential Bryans and I am sure the last thing a man of your stature would want is to be confused with the multitude of Bryans who lack the...
15
Feb
An open letter to Donald Trump
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By
Hey Donald!
Or should I call you President Trump? It certainly has a magnificent ring to it. Magnificent, obviously, in the way that a tornado heading for a redneck trailer park in, say, Texas, is ma...
26
Oct
To Cde Blade Nzimande – Minister of Higher Education
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By
Here's a letter I wrote to old pineapple face in 2009.
Dear Comrade Blade,
How dare these scoundrels accuse you of betraying the revolution simply because you ordered a car worth R1.1-millio...
02
Aug
An open letter to Walter “Fuck Cecil” Palmer
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By
Dear Walter,
On behalf of specieists everywhere, I would like to congratulate you for taking down Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe the other day. What kind of name is Cecil, anyway? For that alone he deserv...