18
Apr
When Good Friday turned bad
In accordance with my annual tradition, I'm republishing a column I wrote some years ago.
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I was making an emergency house call on the bad yellow-eyed woman when I stumbled across a...
27
Mar
Application for the post of ambassador to the US
To whom it may concern:
Perhaps not the best way to start an application letter for a post in the diplomatic corps, or anywhere in government for that matter. There's a good chance no one in the civi...
20
Mar
Durban’s Mitchell Park – RIP
I remember going to Durban's Mitchell Park as a kid. It was fantastic. Huge trees, rolling lawns, exotic birds and animals in enclosures – even an elephant and a crocodile that never seemed to move– a...
14
Mar
Fear and loathing in the Drunkensberg…
I should be writing about something serious like the finance minister's latest distribution of our hard-earned money among the salivating hyenas, but I can't, because I'm trapped in the Drunkensberg. ...
09
Feb
Kallie Kriel – chief beneficiary of the Dunning-Kruger Effect
Here's something I wrote to AfriForum's Kallie Kriel almost seven years ago. The poor oke has been at this for a long time...
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Hello Oom Kallie. How is it going with Oom? Is it...
30
Jan
In the war between beer and nature, beer will always win
One from the archives....
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Why am I being badgered by bearded women demanding that I vote for Table Mountain? The last time I voted for anything was in 1994, and look where th...
30
Jan
Snakes and adders – A devil of a game
I caught a snake on my eleventh birthday. Not one of those scary big-ass mothers that can squeeze you to death and swallow you whole. I didn’t grow up in the Amazon jungle, even though my table manner...
15
Jan
Dear six-year-old kids …
I usually write to our high school “graduates” offering bad advice on how to negotiate the perils of the real world, but there’s nothing I can do for Generation D. That stands for Doomed, in case you ...
11
Jan
ANC’s January 8 statement leaked
Comrades and compatriots,
People of South Africa,
We gather here today in Mangaung, the cradle of our birth, inspired by … hold on, this is last year’s speech. Nobody wrote me a new one? It doesn’t ...
09
Jan
The buck stops here
"New study confirms four distinct giraffe species, unlocking crucial insights for conservation efforts" — this headline reminded me of a giraffe story I wrote a while ago.
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07
Jan
That time I went to the circus
I did something the other night that I haven’t done since I was a kid. No, not wet the bed. I went to the circus. It was set up on a nearby field and I didn’t have anything on so I drove down there, b...
26
Dec
Still no Jesus among Xmas babies
I like to think of this week as the year’s perineum. In 2025 we’re either going to hit the sweet spot or find ourselves even deeper in the … okay, that’s about as far as I’m going with that particular...