Scam the Scammers

From: Hyundai Cars Company <info@hyundai.net>

To: bentrovato@mweb.com

Subject: You have won the Hyundai Company Award Funds

This is to inform you that you have been awarded 850,000.00 Pounds from Hyundai Cars Company. This Promotion Award is to raise the profile of Hyundai Cars across the world. (contact project manager) Name: Mr Jfferson Andrews. Phone # : +44703193 5671.

Send your name, country, city, age, occupation, pssition, home phone, moblie, email address to Mr. Jfferson Andrews for the processing of your award funds.

Congratulations!

 

From: Ben Trovato

Dear Jfferson,

What an interesting name. Is it Welsh? Never mind. I cannot believe that I have won so much money! How did you know that I drive a Hyundai? Is my name on a global register of Hyundai owners? My Elantra and I have been together for 10 years and we are still deeply in love. I have converted the spacious boot into a mobile office and entertainment centre which makes me the envy of all my friends except for those who laugh at me for driving a Hyundai. They say the only thing Koreans know how to make is stir-fried sausage dog but they are jealous.

I hope I do not have to go to Korea to get my money. Flying terrifies me. So do the Koreans. I would prefer it if you put the cash directly into my account.

Once again, thank you for this fantastic award. I promise that I will drive my Hyundai until I die, which could be quite soon unless I get the brakes fixed. Please hurry with the money.

PS. What is a moblie?

 

From: Hyundai Cars Company

Dear Award Winner

We have received your informations and you have been cleard for payment. We have sent your informations to our affliate bank for the transfer of your funds which is £850.000.00 GBP.

You are now required to contact our bank whom are responsible for the transfer of your promo funds to your bank account. The Hyundai Cars Company do believe that your funds will be put into good use for community development. This award is also sponsor by the Bill Gate Foundation.

Processing Director Hyundai Company Promotion.

Mr. Jefferson Andrews

 

From: Ben Trovato

Mr Andrews,

I am thrilled to hear from you again because I was beginning to think this was some kind of cruel trick. Are you sure this award is genuine? I do not wish to look foolish. Especially not in the eyes of Bill Gate.

You say I must use my money for community development? This worries me. It would take more than 850 000 pounds to develop my community and quite frankly I need the money more than my white trash neighbours. What do you mean by this?

 

From: Hyundai Cars Company

Dear Award Winner

What we mean in the word for community development it means that you should help the homeless and the less privilege in your locality as well as yourself. You have won the funds and it is yours to do what ever you like with the money but also please help the needy with the funds.

Mr. Jefferson Andrews

 

From: Ben Trovato

Listen here, Andrews.

I do not wish to help the homeless and the needy. They are terrible people. It is I, not them, who suffers the indignity of driving a 1998 Hyundai. Would it be acceptable if I used some of my money to pay a homeless man to kill my wife? I promise I will buy a new Hyundai with whatever is left over.

 

From: Hyundai Cars Company

We have accepted you use the award funds for your personal issues. You can now go ahead and contact the bank.

Congratulations once again!

Mr. Jefferson Andrews

 

From: Ben Trovato

Andrews,

I had an epiphany in my bed last night. When I told my wife, she said there was no way in hell she was going to clean it up. I told her that god came to me in a dream (he was Nigerian, oddly enough) and he told me to get rid of the Hyundai. He said it was the Devil’s car, so this morning I am going to set it alight and push it over a cliff. Does this mean I no longer qualify for the award?

PS.  I also told her that the Hyundai Corporation had given me permission to have her murdered. Please send me 800 000 dollars so I can pay the homeless assassin.

I need a lawyer

I received a worrying email earlier today from someone called Clouise Oranje. It appears as if I am in some sort of legal trouble. I replied to her/him but have yet to hear back. I fear the worst.

 

—– Original Message —–
From: “Clouise Oranje” <clouiseoranj@webmail.co.za>
Sent: Friday, October 5, 2018 1:38:24 PM
Subject: COURT SUMMON

Good day,
This letter serves as the formal notice of an intent to file a lawsuit against you in court.
A hearing date has been confirmed for 11th October 2018, and if you wish to resolve this matter without court action, our client will expect refund within Seven (7) days of this notice.
The Court summons letter is in the PDF below.
Kindly verify your receiving email client on the attached to redirect and download summons. Justice Department summons letter: Letters of Intent
Regards
Clouise Oranje
Court Clerk
Magistrate Court
Justice Firm Debt Collection Agent
Lovedale Road, City of Bloemfontein,Private Bag X20583,
Bloemfontein, 9300 South Africa.

 

​​​From: bentrovato@mweb.co.za

To: “Clouise Oranje” <clouiseoranj@webmail.co.za>

Sent: Friday, October 5, 2018 1:46:52 PM

Subject: Re: COURT SUMMON

 

Dear Mr/Mrs/Adv Oranje,

You have made me very frightened with your electronic letter and I have been forced to open the good bottle of gin I was saving for Christmas just to steady my nerves!

I do not know what is a PDF. I am very old and my only clever friend who knows about computers is dead because of poisoning. Is this what you are accusing me of? I did not poison him! It was his wife. I warned him not to marry her. Fred, I said, that woman does not look right to me.

If it is not the poisoning, please can you tell me what I did? Whatever it was, I did not do it. I don’t know where I am most of the time but I swear on the bible that I was not anywhere near the scene of the crime. Yes, I have done some bad things in my life. Who hasn’t? I killed twelve Germans but this was long after the war. Is this about the Germans?

I do not want to go to jail. I have the wrong temperament for it. I also have the wrong kind of bottom. What I am trying to say is that I have never had bum sex. I will kill myself if you send me to jail. I will also kill myself if I have to go to Bloemfontein.

Please tell me what I must do.

Yours truly
Mr Benjamin Trovato