Sanlam puts the fear of cancer into us all

Then, to the palpitating heart of the matter. How much cover do you need? All of it, please. The options range between R200 000 and R6 million. I don’t know what this will cover when it comes to cancer. The R200k? Probably three weeks’ parking at the oncologist’s offices. I’d like to think the R6 million includes a full Viking funeral with Roger Waters sitting on the beach playing Comfortably Numb while naked guests fire flaming arrows at my tequila-soaked body lashed to my surfboard and cast adrift on a wild gunmetal sea.

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There. Have a taste of my column in The Citizen on Wednesday, 30 September.

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Wednesday is Ben’s Day

I know somebody who knows somebody who recently adopted a baby in her fifties. The woman, not the baby. Although it must be said that Donald Trump has shown it’s quite possible to be a baby well into your seventies.

I hope I’m not offending anyone when I say you would have to be certifiably insane to want anything at all to do with babies right now. I mean more the deliberate conceiving of, I suppose. If the whelp has already been spawned and is up for adoption and you feel your life hasn’t been disrupted enough, then good luck to you. Personally, I’d sooner adopt a dog.

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And so begins today’s Cut ‘n Run column in The Citizen.

In terms of the new rules, you’ll have to pay money if you want to read the rest. Not to me, unfortunately. To the newspaper. Who, I guess, ends up paying me for it anyway. It’s a bit like money laundering.

Subscribe monthly or even pay for just a single edition. That’s R7.70. You can’t even get a beer for that. Not that you can get a beer.

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