JuJu O’Lantern Will Scare The Bejeezus Out Of Anyone
It is Halloween this Wednesday and I, for one, cannot wait to put on my succubus suit and go creeping around the neighbourhood late at night banging on doors, shouting: “Trick or treat!”
The real sp...
An Open Letter to Julius Malema – Washer-in-Chief of Filthy Lucre
Dear Julius,
What's happening, old boy? Seems as if you have landed yourself in another frightful mess. The hounds of hell are hot on your heels and you don't appear to be in any shape to outrun them...
Application For The Post Of CEO Of Armscor
Dear Sir/Madam,
I was alarmed to learn that Armscor does not currently have anyone in charge. With no pilots to fly the Gripens and our submarines up on bricks, our flanks are vulnerable to warmonger...
An Open Letter to Mitt Romney – Republican Party nominee for President of the USA
My darling Mitt,
LOL! Just kidding. I'm straight.
But I do think you're awesome. Your hair is awesome. Your teeth are awesome. Even your name is awesome. Mitt.
Being named after a baseball glove i...
If Anyone Can, The Anglican
Dear Archbishop of Canterbury,
My friend Ted and I spent last weekend praying that the Church of England would not allow women to be ordained as bishops. We already live with women who tell us that ...
Happiness Is A Warm Molotov Cocktail
I was saddened to read this week that we are one of the ten unhappiest countries in the world. What the hell is wrong with us?
Looking around, reading the papers and listening to people talk, I woul...
Trovato In National Honours Outrage
This is the fourth consecutive year in which I have neither killed nor raped anyone. I have refrained from hijacking cars and taking hostages. I have paid my taxes and some of my traffic fines. I cont...