11
Feb
A final letter to Msholozi
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By
Ben Trovato
Dear President Zuma,
I have become accustomed to congratulating you on one or other of your remarkable successes – whether it be state capture or simply the acquisition of a fresh wife – and it grieve...
05
Nov
A Letter to the Leader
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By
Dear Comrade President Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma, Corrupter of the Weak, Don of Dubai, Capo dei Capi, Lord of the Beasts and the Fishes, Emperor of Nkandla.
Congratulations on still being on your feet...
06
Aug
Tuesday's Great Confidence Trick
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By
Dear Honourable and Dishonourable ANC Members of Parliament,
So, a big day for you on Tuesday. You get to tell the nation that you have confidence in Jacob Zuma as our president. At the same time, you...
26
Jun
Long haul to Bali
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By
If you have to go to Bali at short notice but lack access to a high-powered boat fitted with supplementary vodka tanks, supersonic stabilisers and three depraved Scandinavian contortionists, you shoul...
09
Apr
Pravin moves on after quickie divorce
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By
It is in the nature of my job to be a cynic and a sceptic. I take nothing at face value and always believe the worst. Give someone the benefit of the doubt? Please. That's about as likely as seeing me...
02
Apr
A letter to President Zuma
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By
Dear Comrade Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma the First, President of the Republic of South Africa, Head of the Household, Defender of the Faith, Pastor of the Flock, Defeater of the Mbeki, Msholozi of Mshol...
27
Feb
Data is the curse of the drinking class
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By
If my column makes less sense than usual, you can blame MTN. I am currently without a landline, you see. It's not that I haven't tried to get one but everybody I talk to wants proof of address. It's b...
17
Apr
Real feminists stand by their men
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By
Dear ANC Women's League,
I apologise for addressing you as a league and not as an individual. Women are so much more than mere leagues these days. My non-sexist sensibilities are telling me – well, sh...
10
Apr
President Zuma, you have mail
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By
Greetings, Mosholozi, in the name of our patron saint Machiavelli and all those who follow the holy gospels of perfidy and artifice.
Well done on surviving yet another attack by the running dogs of … ...
25
Jan
Dear Eskom …
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By
I hear you want to increase the price of electricity by seventeen percent. Is that all? Why the restraint? I'm sure you are familiar with the expression, “Go big or go home.” Don't hold back, my frien...
23
Feb
I man a de Bush Doctor
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By
Big up to Mario Oriani-Ambrosini. This week he stood up in parliament and appealed to President Jacob Zuma to legalise medicinal marijuana as an alternative treatment for cancer patients.
The Inkatha...
16
Feb
An open letter to sports minister Fikile Mbalula
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By
Howzit Fiks,
I reckon I can dispense with formality ‘coz you been hanging with rappers and threatening our soccer team with, like, death. That’s cool. I’m down with that kind of thing.
So I read in ...