Jingle Hells
All that is preventing hostilities from breaking out in shopping mall parking lots across the country are the Congolese and Rwandan car guards. They have seen some terrible things, and I’m not even ta...
A survival guide to Black Friday
It’s that time of year when we all turn into gibbering idiots and experts take it upon themselves to advise us on the blindingly obvious. Like, in the event of a thunderstorm, avoid standing in an ope...
It's that time of year when …
It's that time of year when boilerplate journalists stare out the window, sigh heavily and begin writing stuff that begins with “It's that time of year when ….”
Calling them journalists gives them mor...
Jingle Hells
School holidays should be abolished.
Our creaking infrastructure and shattered nerves can no longer withstand the blitzkrieg of semi-educated savages at the end of every year. There should be new rule...
Jingle Hells
Jesus!
The reason for the season. Happy birthday, dude. You're looking pretty damn good for a 2000-year-old white hippy with a Mexican name. There aren't too many kids born in a stable environment in...