Then, to the palpitating heart of the matter. How much cover do you need? All of it, please. The options range between R200 000 and R6 million. I don’t know what this will cover when it comes to cancer. The R200k? Probably three weeks’ parking at the oncologist’s offices. I’d like to think the R6 million includes a full Viking funeral with Roger Waters sitting on the beach playing Comfortably Numb while naked guests fire flaming arrows at my tequila-soaked body lashed to my surfboard and cast adrift on a wild gunmetal sea.

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There. Have a taste of my column in The Citizen on Wednesday, 30 September.

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