BEN TROVATO

The Independent Democrats' parliamentary leader, Joe McGluwein or something, is refusing to wear the Springbok jersey during the Rugby World Cup because the garments were made in China instead of, pre...

I have been intrigued by many things this past week, one of which was the headline: “JSC to grill Mogoeng.” I always thought lawyers would taste better fried up with garlic butter and a handful of rou...

Like everyone else in this fine country, I am reluctant to get off my fat ass and take an active interest in anything unless I can drink it, drive it, make money from it or have sex with it. However, ...

Ted dropped by on Wednesday with three cases of draught beer, a bottle of Jose Cuervo and a half-jack of brandy. “I can't stay long,” he said, opening his throat valve and tossing back 500ml of lager ...

I have never seen the point of horses. They are little more than very tall dogs with ridiculously long noses. But if you dare mention it in front of them, they will not hesitate to bite your face off ...

I was juggling with three quarts the other day when one got away from me and went through the lounge window. I could hear Brenda thumping up the stairs, shouting: “What the hell have you done now?” In...

What is it with Germans and the human body? If they're not trying to mutate it, they're trying to eat it. I suppose we should be grateful that lovable rogues like Dr Josef Mengele and Armin Meiwes don...

I thought senile dementia had come early to Brenda when, out of the blue, she suggested we go and look for Wales. It's best to humour the prematurely mad, so I told her it's in the same place it alway...

In case you're running low, there are hundreds of bottles of vodka lying on the pavement outside the former Amy Winehouse's gaff in the London borough of Camden. I'm not saying it's worth flying all t...