Jungle Fever at the World Cup
Underage bromeliads cavorting around a psychedelic pumpkin. Depraved mangrove-men banging up against flirtatious fuschia.
Just in case you thought you were watching the Chelsea Flower Show moments af...
Anarchy in the RSA
With polls due to open on Wednesday, election fever is reaching a crescendo. Bare-assed lying, bribery, coercion and threats of violence are witnessed every day. And that’s just in my house.
The situ...
South Africa – a nation of Brit-boeties, Boers, Bantu and other bliksems
South Africa has a long and proud history of democratic rule – along with other shining examples like Cuba, North Korea and the Mongol Empire.
Even though the Khoikhoi and San were taking decisions b...
Earth Shmerth
Earth Hour is over. Thank fuck for that.
To be frank, with the possible exception of Happy Hour, I am not overly interested in anything that lasts for only 60 minutes. The other thing is this. I have ...
The filth and the fury
South Africans who say they would rather spend their holidays here than anywhere else – because, like, it's such an awesome country – should have their jaws permanently wired shut so that never again ...
Helpful tips for job interviews
Matric students have come to the end of their school life and workers have come to the end of their contracts. Everyone in this country is either on contract or has a contract out on them. The only pe...
Rebel rabble
More than twenty percent of the matric class of 2013 failed the year and, quite frankly, we decent law-abiding citizens are appalled at the prospect of them rushing off en masse to the nearest traffic...
Helpful holiday advice
Now is a time for reflection, a time for evaluating the year gone by and a time to make fresh plans for the year ahead.More importantly, though, it is a time to lie on the beach and get as much alcoho...
Oh, to be in Bethlehem on this auspicious day
To wake to the sound of church bells and the distant crump of mortars landing in Beersheba.
To see the early morning sky light up as Israeli helicopter gunships unleash their missiles.
To smell the ...
Can’t see the house for the family tree – A flashback
Home for the holidays. It sounds like such a benign, cheerful concept. Yet it is only once you are there that the occasion mutates into a short-term psychological evaluation in an institute for the cr...
The final countdown to total onslaught
I was out the other evening seeking solace in the arms of Bacchus and happened to ask a passing waiter to bring me a fresh beer. He told me he wasn't a waiter. He said he was a civil engineer in town ...
Round up the mothers and make them pay
No matter how much I drink, I am unable to find much humour in the murder bonanza currently sweeping our fine country. Perhaps it is because bludgeoning, by its very nature, is the antithesis of satir...