11
May
Tap-dancing gorillas and tenants from hell
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By
Ben Trovato
Did you know that gorillas make up "food songs" while they eat? A German scientist discovered this "fun new fact" while working with the primates in the Congo. I don't think it's a fun fact at all. I ...
30
Sep
An Open Letter to Julius Malema – Washer-in-Chief of Filthy Lucre
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By
Dear Julius,
What's happening, old boy? Seems as if you have landed yourself in another frightful mess. The hounds of hell are hot on your heels and you don't appear to be in any shape to outrun them...
23
Sep
Anyone For Chemo And A Nice Cup Of Tea?
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By
I lost my mother a few days ago. Not in the way that you might lose your car keys. Keys can be replaced. Mother's hardly ever.
It all started several months ago when she developed a cough. Our family...
16
Sep
Dr Piazza’s School Of Conflict Resolution
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By
I like Facebook. It's full of cuddly animals, happy families and squirrelly sociopaths. Amidst this foul repository of inexcusable spelling errors and grammatical atrocities committed by people who re...
26
Aug
Application For The Post Of CEO Of Armscor
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By
Dear Sir/Madam,
I was alarmed to learn that Armscor does not currently have anyone in charge. With no pilots to fly the Gripens and our submarines up on bricks, our flanks are vulnerable to warmonger...
19
Aug
An Open Letter to Mitt Romney – Republican Party nominee for President of the USA
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By
My darling Mitt,
LOL! Just kidding. I'm straight.
But I do think you're awesome. Your hair is awesome. Your teeth are awesome. Even your name is awesome. Mitt.
Being named after a baseball glove i...
05
Aug
Spanking The Olympic Monkey
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By
“The South African nation is today filled with pride and joy,” decreed presidential spokesman Mac Maharaj on Tuesday.
This was astounding news. The nation is usually filled with anger, resentment, r...
22
Jul
A Doomed Attempt To Narco-Load On Mandela Day
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By
On Mandela Day, the entrance to Addington Hospital resembled the entrance to the municipal market in Maputo when a fresh shipment of cocaine arrives.
The doorway was jammed with hawkers, hustlers, m...
19
Jul
Welcome To Club Dead
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By
From: bentrovato@mweb.co.za
To: hatemyavuz@superonline.com
Subject: For the attention of Mr Hatem Yavuz of the Hatem Yavuz Group, purveyors of fine pelts and furs
Dear Mr Yavuz,
I understa...
15
Jul
If Anyone Can, The Anglican
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By
Dear Archbishop of Canterbury,
My friend Ted and I spent last weekend praying that the Church of England would not allow women to be ordained as bishops. We already live with women who tell us that ...
08
Jul
Thank You For Not Sharing
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By
Much like alcohol and organised religion, Facebook can ruin your health, wreck your marriage and make you appear stupider than you are.
However, it brings great happiness and joy in so many other way...
24
Jun
Happiness Is A Warm Molotov Cocktail
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By
I was saddened to read this week that we are one of the ten unhappiest countries in the world. What the hell is wrong with us?
Looking around, reading the papers and listening to people talk, I woul...