ANC’s January 8 statement leaked
Comrades and compatriots,
People of South Africa,
We gather here today in Mangaung, the cradle of our birth, inspired by … hold on, this is last year’s speech. Nobody wrote me a new one? It doesn’t ...
The buck stops here
"New study confirms four distinct giraffe species, unlocking crucial insights for conservation efforts" — this headline reminded me of a giraffe story I wrote a while ago.
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That time I went to the circus
I did something the other night that I haven’t done since I was a kid. No, not wet the bed. I went to the circus. It was set up on a nearby field and I didn’t have anything on so I drove down there, b...
Still no Jesus among Xmas babies
I like to think of this week as the year’s perineum. In 2025 we’re either going to hit the sweet spot or find ourselves even deeper in the … okay, that’s about as far as I’m going with that particular...
Things to do with the kids
School holidays should be abolished.
Our creaking infrastructure and shattered nerves can no longer withstand the blitzkrieg of semi-educated savages at the end of eve...
Jingle Hells
All that is preventing hostilities from breaking out in shopping mall parking lots across the country are the Congolese and Rwandan car guards. They have seen some terrible things, and I’m not even ta...
Letters to Santa…
Cyril Ramaphosa: Dear Santa, I have been good this year. On the other hand, perhaps I haven't. It is hard to say. I am applying my mind and will let you know in due course. As a fan of your work, I am...
Whale to go, Iceland!
Good news for whale-haters! Iceland has just authorised whale hunting for the next five years.
Under the new permits, 209 fin whales and 217 minke whales can be caught during each year's whaling seas...
One more, then take me home bru
One from the archives...
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Finally, some good news coming from one of the basket cases that cling like diseased suckerfish to what we laughingly call our bo...
Complex issues with body corporate bullies
More and more people are choosing to live inside private security estates.
They're hard to miss. Just drive up the coast north of Durban. Balize. Salta Sibaya. Zimbali. Zululami. Simbithi. Zuleni. El...
Rachel’s red card for Kolisi
Dear Siya,
Congratulations on the impending severance of your matrimonial bonds. Too many people talk about divorce as if it's a bad thing. They have no idea. The happiest day of my life was when I g...
To the Matric Class of 2024
Dear adultlings,
Congratulations on making it to the end of the beginning. Twelve years of being bullied, belittled and, in several thousand cases, banged up. A South African education pr...