Welcome to the future
Speech to Parliament by South African President Nomzana Naidoo-Green on the Occasion of National Men’s Month 2307
Madam Speaker
Honourable Madam Members
Madam Chair of the National Council of Provi...
A year of singing, dancing and improvised explosive devices
The generation known as Millennials seems relatively unmoved by the wave of carnage that swept through the ranks of the rich and famous in 2016. Leonard who? Carrie Fisher the astronaut? Princess Leia...
Unleash the troglodytes
Today, 178 years ago, the Voortrekkers defeated a Zulu army at the Battle of Blood River. And today, the Boers and the Zulus will join forces to defeat me at the Battle of Gateway shopping centre.
The...
Avoid the maul at all costs
Christmas decorations seem to lack something of the Christian ethos this year. When I was growing up, you could barely move for cheerful scenes of the crucifixion and mawkish tableaux of ceramic sheph...
Jingle Hells
School holidays should be abolished.
Our creaking infrastructure and shattered nerves can no longer withstand the blitzkrieg of semi-educated savages at the end of every year. There should be new rule...
Oil discovered in giant human well
In what has been described as a “miracle of staggering proportions”, vast untapped petroleum reserves have been discovered inside Khulubuse Zuma.
The businessman, a nephew of President Jacob Zuma, was...
Application for a position at South African Airways
Dear Biggles,
I stumbled across your advert quite literally. I was en route from the kitchen to the veranda with an adult beverage in hand when I tripped over the Sunday papers. The Bad Yellow-Eyed Wo...
Pining for the pines
I was out walking on the slopes of Table Mountain the other day enjoying the exercise and marveling at the view ... oh, who am I kidding. I was out looking for shamanic fungi but I can't write that or...
We're the A Team – We don't need reserves
Next to beer, I think petrol is my most favourite liquid. You can huff it to get high, use it to make Molotov cocktails and put it in your car so you drive to the bottle store. Trained professionals a...
Caster's return – A flashback
The last time Caster Semenya returned home victorious was after the Berlin world championships in 2009. This is what I wrote then. Let’s hope it goes a little better this time around.
While the...