Trick or tweet
It's Halloween tonight and I, for one, cannot wait to put on my succubus suit and go creeping around the neighbourhood late at night banging on doors, shouting: “Trick or treat!” The real sport starts...
To Cde Blade Nzimande – Minister of Higher Education
Here's a letter I wrote to old pineapple face in 2009.
Dear Comrade Blade,
How dare these scoundrels accuse you of betraying the revolution simply because you ordered a car worth R1.1-millio...
Of art, life and fuckbois
I don't usually do this sort of thing. "What sort of thing?" I hear you ask anxiously. Well, if you just sit the fuck down and shut up for a second, I'll tell you.
I rarely write unless I'm paid to d...
Crime & Very Little Punishment
The SA Police have released their crime statistics for the period April 2014 to March 2015. Here's my contribution to the national debate.
Types Of Crimes
There are many different types of crimes. Not...
Potting the black
"Japanese conglomerate Hitachi has paid $19m to settle charges that it paid ANC front company Chancellor House a $1m "success fee" and $5m in "dividends" in connection with contracts to build two powe...
Rum & Rugby
“BOKKE!”
Excuse me? Are you shouting at me? You, who called the cops because my music was too loud? You, whose bastard dog wakes me every morning? You, who has co-opted a clenched fist salute...
Shoot the subs
I don't usually post other people's stuff, but this email from columnist Giles Coren to sub-editors on the London Times will strike a chord with many who write for newspapers. I know the feeling.
&nb...
God is a counter-evolutionary
I don't know whether it was a dream or if I read it somewhere – I think I must have read it because I have lived in South Africa all my life and only have nightmares, not dreams – but I recall somethi...
By your own hand
It was World Suicide Prevention Day last week and it seems only right that I should contribute. Suicide is not a laughing matter. So don't fucking laugh. Okay?
This is a chapter from my best-selling ...
A bunch of hunts
When I heard the term "driven hunt" for the first time, I instinctively felt this was something I wanted to be a part of. I far prefer driving to walking and if I can shoot animals without spilling my...
Do we panic now or later?
I would like to commend America for alerting its citizens in South Africa to a possible terrorist attack on US interests in our magnificent country. It's important to take care of one's own.
The warn...
India hosted the Commonwealth Games in 2010
And this is what I wrote at the time ...
Well, it all seems to be working out just fine so far. Nobody has died of dysentery, been eaten by a tiger or shot in the head by Naxalite rebels. Sat...