Tap-dancing gorillas and tenants from hell
Did you know that gorillas make up "food songs" while they eat? A German scientist discovered this "fun new fact" while working with the primates in the Congo. I don't think it's a fun fact at all. I ...
Rent boy goes west
Mosquitoes have begun sending out the recces early this year. They're coming in at high altitude late at night – not in packs, but in pairs. They split up once they've gained entrance to the bedroom. ...
The bandersnatches are on their way
We have finally overtaken Britain as the world’s foremost nation in whining and complaining.
Crime is too high. Standards are too low. Sex is too fast. Service is too slow. I hate my job. I ...
A letter to God
Dear God,
Sorry to bother you while you’re on holiday. I just felt like getting some stuff off my chest. I’m sure your in-box is stuffed with requests, complaints and demands going back hundreds of y...
Shoot me now
If you’re going to expose yourself, there’s no better place to do it than in the Namib Desert.
“Come up,” said my daughter, Liberty. “We’ll shoot you.” A lot of fathers live in fear of hearing those ...
Stumbleweeding Through Life
I hope there is some kind of predetermined plan here, and that it isn't all just loosely held together by a series of random events, because I cannot figure out why, exactly, I am writing this in a no...
Poltroons, Pizzas and Pangas
Who is Ben Trovato?
Nobody knows for sure – not even him.
“Metaphysically speaking, I have no idea who I am,” says Trovato. “Nor do I wish to know. Asking ‘who am I’ is the kind of crazy talk reserv...