Good news for pangolins – bad news for Chinese knobs
China has said it will remove Guilingji, a traditional medicine containing bits of pangolin, from its official 2025 pharmacopoeia. I don't know what a pharmacopoeia is, but I imagine it's some kind of...
Horny? Dial 1-800-RHINO
I got an email today from my old friend John Hume. We've never met, but I like to think of him as a friend. I don't know if he feels the same. Probably not, since the email came from one Elizabeth van...
Skeletons in the closet
Dear Comrade Edna Molewa, Minister of Environmental Affairs, Apex Predator of the Civil Service, Trader of Bones and Nemesis of Big Cats Everywhere.
Well done on your decision to allow fifteen hundred...
Blowing your own horns
Dear John Hume,
Congratulations on being the world's largest rhino breeder. How big are you? Are you the size of a rhino? It doesn't matter. For all I know, rhino breeders are tiny and you are simply ...
A buffet called Africa
China, eh? Funny old business. I had one of them Chinese in the back of my car once. Well, he was in the boot, actually. Come to think of it, that wasn't a Chinese at all – it was a spare tyre. Probab...
Sum Ting Wong
They were calling it Black Monday. Racists. If anything, it should have been called Yellow Monday. It is, after all, the Chinese who are causing this global financial meltdown. Okay, so it's more of a...