The Art of the Schmooze
"Billionaire businessman Patrice Motsepe played an instrumental role in developing the government's 'strategy and tactics' ahead of President Cyril Ramaphosa's meeting with President Donald Trump." – ...
Political junkies on the warpath
I wrote this yesterday:
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My advice for the South African delegation meeting with the unhinged tangerine cockwomble in Washington DC? That each of them ingest some sor...
Trump vs Ramaphosa – The Agony and the Ecstasy
My advice for the South African delegation meeting with the unhinged tangerine cockwomble in Washington DC today? That each of them ingest some sort of narcotic exactly 14 minutes before the sit-down....
Cyril vs Donald – A meeting from hell
A Sunday paper reported that Donald Trump has agreed to meet Cyril Ramaphosa face to face. Here's a preview of what to expect.
Ten minutes before the meeting, the two men discuss arrangements with th...
ANC’s January 8 statement leaked
Comrades and compatriots,
People of South Africa,
We gather here today in Mangaung, the cradle of our birth, inspired by … hold on, this is last year’s speech. Nobody wrote me a new one? It doesn’t ...
Out of the woodwork and into the cabinet
When I had a proper job, I'd suffer from the Sunday Fear. You might have felt it yourself. It starts in the pit of your stomach and moves steadily up your spine. By 10pm it has crawled into the base o...
Cyril Ramaphosa’s January 8 statement leaked
Comrades and compatriots,
People of South Africa,
We gather here today in Mangaung, the cradle of our birth, inspired by … hold on, this is last year's speech. Nobody wrote me a new one? It doesn't ...
Kicking against the Brics
Since today falls in the middle of the Bric's meeting, it seemed right to send each leader a personalised message.
President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva: Bem-vindo! You will feel right at home here bec...
Dear President Ramaphosa…
Congratulations on your successful mission to Europe. You have shown the world that South Africa is even able to unite countries that are at war with one another. Both Russia and Ukraine now agree tha...
My fellow South Africans …
For the second year, the State of the Nation Address is not being delivered in the National Assembly. It feels like yesterday that a fire swept through parliament 375 days ago. This is why we have not...
A letter to the president
Dear Comrade Cyril,
Congratulations/condolences on recent developments in the Phala Phala clusterfuck. Things are moving fast and there's no way of telling whether you'll be president, jobless or on ...
Shooting the breeze … and the boss
An internal survey has found that 65% of cops don't look forward to going to work in the morning. This means the 35% who do enjoy the job are the ones collecting protection money, soliciting bribes an...