My doctor might have murdered me
I am girding my loins for the antibiotic apocalypse and I suggest you do the same. Actually, what you do with your loins is none of my business.
I get sick once a year when the seasons turn. This yea...
The Chicken Who Cried Fowl
I had a birthday this week. Many of you failed to wish me well. Fine. Don’t expect me to be there for you when days are dark and friends are few.
Out here on the North Coast, in the 4399, the days ar...
Why Mickey Mouse Would Make A Better President Than Jacob Zuma
Mickey is black but he has a white face. This means he stands a good chance of being accepted across the racial spectrum.
Mickey is keenly aware of the importance of personal hygiene. For a start, yo...
Earth Hour Se Ma Se Poes
Earth Hour last night was a raging success and it doesn’t matter that the surge caused by everyone switching their lights back on at the same time forced power stations to crank up their output levels...
An Open Letter to the Independent Communications Authority of South Africa
Dear Sir or Madam,
Forgive me for I know not whether you are a sir or a madam. For all I know, you are both. If you are indeed a hermaphrodite or even a transsexual who dreams of one day undergoing g...
Here’s To Alcohol: The cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems
Instead of trying to find a cure for Aids, medical researchers should rather concentrate on finding a cure for hangovers.
Sure, most hangovers won’t kill you, but more of us suffer from them. And whe...
Let’s not forget Henke, so-called father of Oscar Pistorius
We hear a lot about Oscar Pistorius living with his rich uncle Arnold while on parole, but nobody talks about his father, Henke. Here's a letter I wrote to the murderer's dear old dad in 2013.
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We All Have Assburger’s Syndrome
Birds aren’t the only creatures that make a yummy meal when deboned and compressed. Donkey, goat and buffalo are as delicious as any turducken.
Mmmm dongobuffillet. Donkey stuffed into a goat stuffed...
Shootin’ From The Hip With Dead-Eye Dickhead
If your husband or boyfriend goes shopping and comes home with, say, a slow cooker, you stand a chance of getting supper. If, on the other hand, he comes home with a gun, you stand a chance of getting...
An Open Letter To Patrice Motsepe
Dear Comrade Patrice,
My father always told me not to beg for anything. Today, he is a very proud man. Living in a cardboard box on the N3, but proud nevertheless. I would rather be rich and ashamed....