Sex Archives - BEN TROVATO

27 Apr

Gettin’ me a little R&R

April 27, 2014
By Ben Trovato
0 comments

It wasn't long before I was convinced that Mkuze Game Reserve had no animals. Judging by the size of the staff, it was entirely possible that they had eaten the lot. I went into a hide where a sectio...

21 May

Columns

Let’s All Drink To The Death Of A Clown

May 21, 2013
By Ben Trovato
101 comments

This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t had a weekly deadline for a newspaper column. The first five were with the Cape Times, the second five with the Sunday Times. It’s very unsettling t...

05 May

Columns

Airplanes, Wedding Trains and the CAR

May 5, 2013
By Ben Trovato
8 comments

“If you love me, you will obey my commandments – John 14:15.” And so it is with Trovato 07:45. Or, if I oversleep, 10:30. President Jacob Zuma is also big on this parable or homily or whatever the he...

28 Apr

Columns

The Chicken Who Cried Fowl

April 28, 2013
By Ben Trovato
15 comments

I had a birthday this week. Many of you failed to wish me well. Fine. Don’t expect me to be there for you when days are dark and friends are few. Out here on the North Coast, in the 4399, the days ar...

11 Apr

Rants

Why Mickey Mouse Would Make A Better President Than Jacob Zuma

April 11, 2013
By Ben Trovato
2 comments

Mickey is black but he has a white face. This means he stands a good chance of being accepted across the racial spectrum. Mickey is keenly aware of the importance of personal hygiene. For a start, yo...

19 Mar

Letters

An Open Letter to the Independent Communications Authority of South Africa

March 19, 2013
By Ben Trovato
4 comments

Dear Sir or Madam, Forgive me for I know not whether you are a sir or a madam. For all I know, you are both. If you are indeed a hermaphrodite or even a transsexual who dreams of one day undergoing g...

17 Mar

Columns

Here’s To Alcohol: The cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems

March 17, 2013
By Ben Trovato
3 comments

Instead of trying to find a cure for Aids, medical researchers should rather concentrate on finding a cure for hangovers. Sure, most hangovers won’t kill you, but more of us suffer from them. And whe...

12 Mar

Columns

Let’s not forget Henke, so-called father of Oscar Pistorius

January 7, 2024
By Ben Trovato
28 comments

We hear a lot about Oscar Pistorius living with his rich uncle Arnold while on parole, but nobody talks about his father, Henke. Here's a letter I wrote to the murderer's dear old dad in 2013. .......

03 Mar

Columns

We All Have Assburger’s Syndrome

March 3, 2013
By Ben Trovato
10 comments

Birds aren’t the only creatures that make a yummy meal when deboned and compressed. Donkey, goat and buffalo are as delicious as any turducken. Mmmm dongobuffillet. Donkey stuffed into a goat stuffed...

24 Feb

Columns

Shootin’ From The Hip With Dead-Eye Dickhead

February 24, 2013
By Ben Trovato
1 comment

If your husband or boyfriend goes shopping and comes home with, say, a slow cooker, you stand a chance of getting supper. If, on the other hand, he comes home with a gun, you stand a chance of getting...

03 Feb

Columns

An Open Letter To Patrice Motsepe

February 3, 2013
By Ben Trovato
143 comments

Dear Comrade Patrice, My father always told me not to beg for anything. Today, he is a very proud man. Living in a cardboard box on the N3, but proud nevertheless. I would rather be rich and ashamed....

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