An open letter to Chinese premier Wen Jiabao
Dear comrade premier,
What is this I hear about you buying my country? I sincerely hope the rumours are not true. My friend Ted and I have spent the past two years saving up and we are on the brink o...
Branded like a dumb ox
Branding. A powerful word, that. Much like the phrase “press freedom”, it means different things to different people. For me, it conjures up images of two naked cowboys glistening with baby oil and en...
Penguin Books Publishing Online South Africa – Publishers of literary, fiction, non-fiction, reference, autobiography, academic, children’s and classic books
Penguin Books Publishing Online South Africa - Publishers of literary, fiction, non-fiction, reference, autobiography, academic, children's and classic books.
Another open letter to transport minister Sibusiso Ndebele
Dear Sbu,
By lowering the legal alcohol limit from 0.05 to zero, South Africa could proudly take its place among some of the world's foremost economic powerhouses and shining examples of democracy, s...
Death – Better than a new phone
My cellphone rang the other day. This is a rare occurrence on its own. Nobody ever calls me because they don't know who I am, nor do they have my number. But when it does ring, I make a point of not a...
An open letter to transport minister Sibusiso Ndebele
Dear S'bu,
Have you lost your mind? You cannot lower the speed limit on freeways to 100km/h. Your colleagues would have you certified and taken to a mental institution. Even the AA is against it, and...
A side order of genocide sprinkled with a dry white seasoning
My hero for the week is Zulu king Goodwill Zwelithini. At the Reed Dance in Nongoma last weekend, he had a few words for the rhino poachers among us. “I will personally hunt you down and deal with you...
Beer for breakfast at the Rugby World Cup
The Independent Democrats' parliamentary leader, Joe McGluwein or something, is refusing to wear the Springbok jersey during the Rugby World Cup because the garments were made in China instead of, pre...
The Joburg Spring is a riot of colour
I have been intrigued by many things this past week, one of which was the headline: “JSC to grill Mogoeng.” I always thought lawyers would taste better fried up with garlic butter and a handful of rou...
Tripoli – Heaven on Earth
I have never seen such a shouty bunch as those Libyans. Always with the fists in the air and the nonstop chanting and yelling. Do they ever have a normal conversation or is everything done at top volu...
Like Trovato, the government seems to have a hearing problem
Like everyone else in this fine country, I am reluctant to get off my fat ass and take an active interest in anything unless I can drink it, drive it, make money from it or have sex with it.
However, ...
Run for cover – the glass ceiling is cracking
Ted dropped by on Wednesday with three cases of draught beer, a bottle of Jose Cuervo and a half-jack of brandy. “I can't stay long,” he said, opening his throat valve and tossing back 500ml of lager ...