A Day at the Races
I see the Cape Town Met was run in the Mother City yesterday. It used to be called the J&B Met. My mate Ted and I went once. Here's what happened.
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A 10km-deep snarl of traffi...
So, kidults. It’s crunch time
School and you have parted ways. The decisions you have to make now are the easy ones. Later in life, you will be faced with the really tough ones. Like, should I have another drink? I can’t think of ...
Lindiwe and me, sitting in a tree…
How about that Lindiwe Sisulu, eh? Phwoaar. I'd give her one. Wouldn't you?
If our minister of tourism rocked up at your front door wearing a La Perla negligee and seductively fanning herself with a ...
Application for the post of Head of Security: Parliament
Dear Sir or Madam,
I imagine you are a sir and not a madam because things would not have descended to this level if a woman were left in charge, although it must be said that the Speaker is a woman...
Scorpions, locusts and a plague on both houses (of parliament)
On one of several undignified visits to the bathroom early on New Year's Day, I saw what looked like a wrapping from a chocolate bar lying on the floor. Because none of my resolutions for 2022 involve...
A very peri new year to you all
2022 is going to be an interesting ride in much the same way that travelling bareback on a donkey with saddlebags full of marijuana from Lesotho to Durban would be an interesting ride.
I don't unde...
How to survive New Year’s Eve
I have felt uncomfortable about making a big thing out of December 31 ever since discovering that our calendar was introduced by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582. The Catholics have done some truly appalling...
The jellysloths and flying snakes of the ANC
How peculiar to live in a country where the only person still capable of being shocked is the president. Not that I am currently in the country. If you've been paying attention, you will know that I a...
Viva Omicron, viva!
The thing with South Africans is that we don't know when to be proud and when to be ashamed of our country.
Take Omicron. The unpatriotic counter-revolutionaries say that our variant hunters who trac...
Paradise, in the nick of time
The road to paradise is paved with bad airlines. Okay, Turkish Air isn't the worst I've flown on, but to offer me no more than one beer on a long-haul flight comes close to violating my basic human ri...
Off to the tropics, thanks to Eskom
I can't help feeling a little envious when I read posts on social media by people who are struggling to cope with this festering pandemic and all its diabolical trappings. I feel cheated, somehow. Whe...
When days are dark … call Alfred
A tweet came through from Eskom on Sunday afternoon. It said: “Just Energy Transition – Re-invigorating, rejuvenating, and redefining Eskom’s destiny as we lead the energy transition into the future. ...