Not much wealth, but certainly common
Something I wrote a few months back.
Parties exploded across Durban when Edmonton withdrew its bid to host the 2022 Commonwealth Games, leaving this glittering jewel of the east coast the sol...
Here’s to the Loerie Awards
I’d like to buy the world a gram and garnish it with thrills, Grow dagga trees and jail keys, and snow white Mandrax pills.
Word on the street is that the advertising industry subsists on a diet of p...
Privates on parade
Ted called me on Saturday and said there was a parade in town. He suggested we get on it right away. As former military men, Ted and I always have enormous fun at parades.
During the war, Ted was a s...
Hot and cold dogs at the Chinese takeaway
Yep, it's that time of year again. Here's a piece I wrote a few years ago. Nothing has changed.
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Oh, to be in the ancient Chinese prefecture-level city of Yulin right n...
The working class can kiss my arse
The month of May will not be merry. There will be more power cuts, higher interest rates, spiralling corruption, fewer jobs and at least one of God's more spectacular acts that leave thousands dead.
...
Long shlep to Freedom Day
All year I had been looking forward to Freedom Day. Last night, I called Ted. “You do know what day it is tomorrow, don't you?” There was a long pause and a great shuffling of papers.
“Monday?”
I si...
When Good Friday Turns Bad
In keeping with the spirit of Easter, here's something I wrote a few years ago.
I was making an emergency house call on the Consort when I stumbled across a rapidly forming mob at the old har...
A Day at the Races
A 10km-deep snarl of traffic surrounded Kenilworth racecourse and our mood was dark and ugly by the time we swerved into the J&B Met VIP parking area.
“Media,” I shouted, flashing my black wristba...
The filth and the fury
Shell-shocked, I trail through the house kicking aside empty beer bottles and accumulating a thick layer of animal hair on the soles of my feet. By the time I find the bad yellow-eyed woman, I look li...
Here's to Pope Gregory
New Year’s Eve.
My liver huddles up against my spleen and whimpers at the mere mention of it. Come out, you lily-livered coward. I need you now more than ever.
To be honest, and I think honesty is imp...
How to deliver a baby
At this time of year, it’s a good idea for all of us to have some sort of First Aid training. We – and not just the government – are a disaster-prone people and you never know when you might be called...