Number One, your time is up
Dear Comrade Jacob Zuma, Prince of Patronage, Fighter of Crime Fighters, King of the Courts, Defender of Lawsuits, Ambassador of Appeals, Bête Noire of the Bench.
I get the feeling you might not be ar...
The right honorable mentions the downright dishonorable
My vote in this weekend's ANC elective conference – not that I have one – goes to the Cyril Ramaphosa/Lindiwe Sisulu tag team. Not just because she's a political thoroughbred with looks to match, but ...
How to Stay Alive
Everything is going up, including the murder rate. But, at 74 violent deaths a day, the price of human life remains cheap. I thought now might be a good time to share a chapter from my book, Ben Trova...
Even the good times are bad
There was a knock on my front door on Wednesday morning. I opened it to find a matching pair of men in cheap suits standing on my Go Away mat with simulated smiles stuck on their stupid faces.
“Have ...
Cheap lies & dumb points
So here we are, clinging to shattered shards of hope trying desperately not to get swept away in the poisonous torrents of traducement that spew from the repulsive mouths of our lords of the lies and ...
Tuesday's Great Confidence Trick
Dear Honourable and Dishonourable ANC Members of Parliament,
So, a big day for you on Tuesday. You get to tell the nation that you have confidence in Jacob Zuma as our president. At the same time, you...
Dirty, rotten scoundrels
Lying is the new truth. Girls are the new boys. Dogs are the new cats. It occurs to me that I can write any gibberish and get away with it because nobody can tell the difference or perhaps even gives ...
A letter to our next president
Dear President Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma,
I wanted to be the first to congratulate you on your election to the highest office in the land. Please do not panic or consult a sangoma. I am not back from the...
The people shall govern – or at least boo those who do
I was hoping to make it onto the guest list for the World Economic Forum on Africa that was held in Durban last week but someone must've intercepted my invitation. One of David Mahlobo's spooks, I exp...
Pravin moves on after quickie divorce
It is in the nature of my job to be a cynic and a sceptic. I take nothing at face value and always believe the worst. Give someone the benefit of the doubt? Please. That's about as likely as seeing me...
An open letter to the Minister of State Security
Dear Honourable Comrade Mahlobo,
I have been meaning to write to you for some time to congratulate you on your meteoric rise from humble ANC deployee in the department of fisheries to the exalted glor...
Data is the curse of the drinking class
If my column makes less sense than usual, you can blame MTN. I am currently without a landline, you see. It's not that I haven't tried to get one but everybody I talk to wants proof of address. It's b...