BEN TROVATO

~ the literary equivalent of sex with a clown ~

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~ the literary equivalent of sex with a clown ~

05 Jun
Columns

Saving Private Lion – We’ve seen this movie before

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
June 5, 2025
0
“Emaciated lions, open wounds, pens covered in faeces, no shelter in blazing sun, cubs on rubbish dumps, lacerated paws  – the images displayed on the screen were shocking. But Douglas Wolhuter of the...
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20 Mar
Columns

Durban’s Mitchell Park – RIP

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
March 20, 2025
31
I remember going to Durban's Mitchell Park as a kid. It was fantastic. Huge trees, rolling lawns, exotic birds and animals in enclosures – even an elephant and a crocodile that never seemed to move– a...
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11 Jan
Columns

ANC’s January 8 statement leaked

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
January 11, 2025
3
Comrades and compatriots, People of South Africa, We gather here today in Mangaung, the cradle of our birth, inspired by … hold on, this is last year’s speech. Nobody wrote me a new one? It doesn’t ...
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12 Jan
Cut&Run

Cyril Ramaphosa’s January 8 statement leaked

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
January 12, 2024
0
Comrades and compatriots, People of South Africa, We gather here today in Mangaung, the cradle of our birth, inspired by … hold on, this is last year's speech. Nobody wrote me a new one? It doesn't ...
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21 Dec
Cut&Run

Shady Jake, the one-eyed trouser snake

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
December 21, 2023
4
I thought I was hallucinating when I heard Jacob Zuma's uniquely soporific drone on the telly, bumbling along at his usual three words a minute and setting off polygraph machines across the country. ...
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08 Dec
Cut&Run

Politicians playing presidential Tinder

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
December 8, 2023
8
Party leaders have begun shyly trying on their sexiest outfits and practising their best pick-up lines as they prepare to woo us. If they hope to become the president of South Africa next year, they'r...
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25 Nov
Cut&Run

Dear Comrade Premier Panyaza Lesufi…

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
November 25, 2023
3
Congratulations on having the courage to embark on your long unofficial journey to the presidency. People say you're a populist as if that's a bad thing. Who doesn't want to be popular? I have been un...
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27 Oct
Cut&Run

Enjoy Durbs not-by-the-sea

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
October 27, 2023
7
The ANC in KwaZulu-Natal says Jacob Zuma will lead its campaign ahead of next year's general election. What a good idea. Durban is like one of those burned-out racehorses who break a leg and have to b...
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01 Sep
Uncategorized

The Secret Diary of Carl Niehaus (aged 63¼)

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
September 1, 2023
9
December 25, 2022 Happy birthday, Jesus! But more importantly, happy birthday, me! Today I am … wait, let me go fetch my calculator. Born in 1959 and today is 2022 so that makes me, um, 3981 years ol...
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25 May
Cut&Run

Don’t underestimate the power of illiteracy

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
May 25, 2023
16
I was shocked to discover that 19% of our Grade 4s are able to read. Who are these little suck-ups? These goody-goody nerds think they're better than the 81% who can't make head or tail of the most ba...
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19 May
Cut&Run

ANC runs Durban – into the ground

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
May 19, 2023
7
“Since 1994 the ANC has created close to eight million new jobs.” Who said this? A pathological liar. A man recently emerged from a long coma. Cyril Ramaphosa. All of the above. Some ...
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16 Mar
Cut&Run

Judges and journos are guarding the gates

Posted by author-avatar Ben Trovato
March 16, 2023
9
In some countries, the police are referred to as the “thin blue line” between civilisation and anarchy. Obviously, that doesn't apply in South Africa. For a start, given the massive girth and low IQ o...
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