A letter to the American President
Dear President Trump,
Thank you so much for your recent tweet in which you threatened to invade my country if the government didn't stop killing all our white farmers and stealing their land. I liv...
The buck stops here
"New study confirms four distinct giraffe species, unlocking crucial insights for conservation efforts" — this headline reminded me of a giraffe story I wrote a while ago.
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Dead elephants tell no tales
US President Donald Trump is reversing an Obama-era ban on hunters importing trophies of elephants killed in Zambia and Zimbabwe. Are his sons planning another hunt? Here's a letter I wrote to the lit...
Blowhard vs Dotard
Dear Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of the Glorious Democratic People's Republic of Korea, Invincible Ninja Assassin and Grandmaster Flash of the Nuclear Holocaust,
Well done on telling that power-crazed...
Guam – some helpful holiday hints
The Pacific island paradise of Guam is lovely at this time of year. Here are a few things you can do to help make your holiday a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
For starters, don't worry that you won't...
The intelligent designer is a moron
The stomach-churning, brain-curdling news that Donald Trump is the 45th American president continues to give rise to all manner of existentialist questions like: What the fuck? Is this really happenin...
The Reluctant Recyclist
I went to my local hardware this week to speak to someone about building a nuclear fallout shelter. There was a lot of head-shaking and shrugging until someone suggested Tom. Maybe Tom can help, they ...
An open letter to Donald Trump
Dear Glorious Leader of the Free World,
I kneel before you with my unworthy eyes averted so your magnificent radiance does not blind me like it blinded all those people who said the crowd at your inau...
A year of singing, dancing and improvised explosive devices
The generation known as Millennials seems relatively unmoved by the wave of carnage that swept through the ranks of the rich and famous in 2016. Leonard who? Carrie Fisher the astronaut? Princess Leia...
Annie Got Her Gun
I wanted to write about the recent dramatic developments on the local government front. I really did. It's got to be worth something, right? Stop me if you've heard this one. The DA, the ACDP, the UDM...
Getting the fox to guard the hen house
The Trump campaign has pledged to nominate a hunter to lead the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, aggressively fight lawsuits by anti-hunting groups and control predators like wolves.
Guess who is top ...
Tap-dancing gorillas and tenants from hell
Did you know that gorillas make up "food songs" while they eat? A German scientist discovered this "fun new fact" while working with the primates in the Congo. I don't think it's a fun fact at all. I ...