Scaring the nation with their guns & ammunition
I was surprised to hear that police in America kill roughly a thousand people a year. Not very impressive for a country that size. Here, our police get through that many in a month. Okay, I'm exaggera...
A letter to the American President
Dear President Trump,
Thank you so much for your recent tweet in which you threatened to invade my country if the government didn't stop killing all our white farmers and stealing their land. I liv...
Dead elephants tell no tales
US President Donald Trump is reversing an Obama-era ban on hunters importing trophies of elephants killed in Zambia and Zimbabwe. Are his sons planning another hunt? Here's a letter I wrote to the lit...
Blowhard vs Dotard
Dear Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of the Glorious Democratic People's Republic of Korea, Invincible Ninja Assassin and Grandmaster Flash of the Nuclear Holocaust,
Well done on telling that power-crazed...
A confederacy of dunces
Dear Oberst-Gruppenpresident Trump, Commander of the Washington Militia, Grandest of Wizards und Liberator of the Persecuted White Race,
Congratulations on everything. You are a magnificent specimen o...
Guam – some helpful holiday hints
The Pacific island paradise of Guam is lovely at this time of year. Here are a few things you can do to help make your holiday a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
For starters, don't worry that you won't...
The intelligent designer is a moron
The stomach-churning, brain-curdling news that Donald Trump is the 45th American president continues to give rise to all manner of existentialist questions like: What the fuck? Is this really happenin...
An open letter to Donald Trump
Hey Donald!
Or should I call you President Trump? It certainly has a magnificent ring to it. Magnificent, obviously, in the way that a tornado heading for a redneck trailer park in, say, Texas, is ma...
Guns don’t kill people. Arseholes kill people.
Don't get me wrong. You won't catch me hugging any bunnies, but that's largely because I'm afraid of them. It's not funny. Leporiphobia is a real thing. I don't come around to your house and laugh at ...