Zuma – more cunning than linguist
On Saturday I made the terrible mistake of switching to the live stream of Jacob Zuma's so-called “address to the nation”, as touted by his obsequious handlanger, Jimmy Manyi.
It was excruciating w...
Shooting the breeze … and the boss
An internal survey has found that 65% of cops don't look forward to going to work in the morning. This means the 35% who do enjoy the job are the ones collecting protection money, soliciting bribes an...
Jou ma se holiday
The last time I took a holiday, it went on for five months. Now I can only afford to go away for one night. I spent my 24-hour vacation in Sea Point, requiring a road trip all ...
And the Oscar goes to … Jacob Zuma
Dear Mzwanele Manyi,
I hear you want someone to make a movie about your man, Jacob Zuma. Well, look no further. I imagine you'd want this to be the mother of all hagiographies. Fair enough. Let's get ...
Watch yourself in the showers, Harry
“The Mpumalanga High Court has sentenced the leader of a right-wing organisation to two life terms and 21 years in jail for terrorism-related offences. Harry Johannes Knoesen – the leader of the ...
More mayhem at Megatwatt Park
The thought of once again writing about Eskom makes me want to rip out my eyeballs and run naked down the N2. I have been lashing out at this failed cartel since 2008.
People speak of the terror of s...
Bravely entering virgin territory
It's the annual Reed Dance today. I was invited to one a few years ago... I knew this assignment was going to be different the moment I got the call. “How would you like to join the King of the Zulus ...
God Shave the King
Dear Charlie,
May I call you Charlie? After what I've been through in the last week, I feel as if I really know you. Like you're family. Actually, given the state of your family, that's probably the ...
Dear Liz Truss…
Congratulations! Not everybody can become the prime minister of Great Britain! Actually, I take that back. Larry the Cat would’ve made a better leader than Boris Johnson.
I’m sure you will agree that...
Riding the eustachian tube
There are several major design flaws in the human body. Teeth are obviously one. The male member is another, with its autonomous nervous system and tiny, fickle brain. Then there are the ears.
Men ar...
20 years later and still on the run…
On The Run appeared in the Cape Times 20 years ago today.
Some of you were still at school. The euro had just been introduced. A cellphone featuring a built-in camera was released. Elon Musk had just...
A dog day afternoon
To mark International Dog Day, here's an excerpt from my book, Ben Trovato's Art of Survival, which never won any awards at all.
…......................
Let us be clear on one thing. Dogs are animal...