Rebel rabble
More than twenty percent of the matric class of 2013 failed the year and, quite frankly, we decent law-abiding citizens are appalled at the prospect of them rushing off en masse to the nearest traffic...
Predictions & Premonitions 2014
This is the year I give it all up. I'm going to make some real money, get fit and have more sex. This year things are going to be different. Really? Unless aliens beam you up to the mother ship and tu...
Horrorscope 2014
Aries
2014 is going to be a dreadful year for you. If you have given up drinking, take it up again. Let yourself go. Start smoking. Dabble in soft drugs if the urge takes you. Life is short, but yours...
Helpful holiday advice
Now is a time for reflection, a time for evaluating the year gone by and a time to make fresh plans for the year ahead.More importantly, though, it is a time to lie on the beach and get as much alcoho...
New Year’s Eve
My liver huddles up against my spleen and whimpers at the mere mention of it. Come out, you lily-livered coward. I need you now more than ever.
To be honest, I have felt uncomfortable about making a ...
Oh, to be in Bethlehem on this auspicious day
To wake to the sound of church bells and the distant crump of mortars landing in Beersheba.
To see the early morning sky light up as Israeli helicopter gunships unleash their missiles.
To smell the ...
Can’t see the house for the family tree – A flashback
Home for the holidays. It sounds like such a benign, cheerful concept. Yet it is only once you are there that the occasion mutates into a short-term psychological evaluation in an institute for the cr...
Jingle Hells
I went to a mall the other day just to get a break from the marathon coverage of all things Madiba.
Under normal circumstances, I would sooner pluck my eyeballs out with a red-hot spoon than go into ...
The final countdown to total onslaught
I was out the other evening seeking solace in the arms of Bacchus and happened to ask a passing waiter to bring me a fresh beer. He told me he wasn't a waiter. He said he was a civil engineer in town ...
Gunning for the Tiny Ten
I was part of the lynch mob that went after American hunter Melissa Bachman. After unleashing a volley of flaming barbs in her general direction, I thought I should perhaps give this hunting lark a ba...
Round up the mothers and make them pay
No matter how much I drink, I am unable to find much humour in the murder bonanza currently sweeping our fine country. Perhaps it is because bludgeoning, by its very nature, is the antithesis of satir...
The battle of the sexes is alive and – well ….
I was elated to hear that dozens of men had been arrested as part of the celebrations for the government's 16 Days of Activism to End Violence Against Women and Children.
Personally, I don't think th...