Down A Rhino – Feel Satisfied
The one thing the world is not short of is good causes. This is not to be confused with good Xhosas, among whom we can count Nelson Mandela.
If you had the choice of giving money to the Nelson Mandel...
Winter Of My Disco Tent
Only a lunatic would leave Durban to go to Cape Town on holiday at this time of year. In my defence, two hadedas have taken to roosting outside my bedroom window. I have tried to scare them off by thr...
Belly-Up On The Bike
The eThekwini Municipality Staff Bicycle Project is a brilliant idea. It’s right up there with free dolphin-assisted births at Sea World for employees over forty. Expectant mothers could cycle to the ...
An Endless Cycle
My mother always said I was hopeless with money. The criticism started when I got my first weekly allowance – all of fifty cents – and lost it minutes later on my way to the shop. It stopped when she ...
Tie A Tourniquet On Time
I have noticed a burgeoning fascination with youth that turns my stomach.
Look at the fuss made over that mewling whelp spawned in London this week. Now that the cossetted little prince is five days ...
Mandela Day Is Too Much Like Hard Work
I began to grow increasingly anxious on Wednesday evening. Mandela Day was almost upon me and still I had no idea how I was going to spend 67 minutes doing something good and meaningful.
That’s a hug...
A Flashback To Mandela Day 2012
On Mandela Day, the entrance to Addington Hospital resembled the entrance to the municipal market in Maputo when a fresh shipment of cocaine arrives. The doorway was jammed with hawkers and hustlers, ...
The First White Mandela
I have been thinking of ways of hitching my three-legged horse to the Mandela bandwagon.
This could be my last shot at getting rich. And don’t even think of calling me a vulture or a hyena. I’ve had ...
The Prodigal Son Returns
Hello, Durban. It’s good to be back.No, I haven’t been in prison. I was living in Cape Town for a while. This is my hometown. I’m from the wrong side of the Umgeni. It’s where I grew up, lost my virgi...
Knysna – where the oyster is your world
Word on the street is that oysters will turn even the most frigid misandrist into a steaming nymphomaniac. I don’t believe it for a minute. A woman’s libido is boosted by being around a man who can af...
Oil discovered in giant human well
In what has been described as a “miracle of staggering proportions”, vast untapped petroleum reserves have been discovered inside Khulubuse Zuma.
The businessman, a nephew of President Jacob ...
Poltroons, Pizzas and Pangas
Who is Ben Trovato?
Nobody knows for sure – not even him.
“Metaphysically speaking, I have no idea who I am,” says Trovato. “Nor do I wish to know. Asking ‘who am I’ is the kind of crazy talk reserv...