More mayhem at Megatwatt Park
The thought of once again writing about Eskom makes me want to rip out my eyeballs and run naked down the N2. I have been lashing out at this failed cartel since 2008.
People speak of the terror of s...
Bravely entering virgin territory
It's the annual Reed Dance today. I was invited to one a few years ago... I knew this assignment was going to be different the moment I got the call. “How would you like to join the King of the Zulus ...
God Shave the King
Dear Charlie,
May I call you Charlie? After what I've been through in the last week, I feel as if I really know you. Like you're family. Actually, given the state of your family, that's probably the ...
Dear Liz Truss…
Congratulations! Not everybody can become the prime minister of Great Britain! Actually, I take that back. Larry the Cat would’ve made a better leader than Boris Johnson.
I’m sure you will agree that...
Riding the eustachian tube
There are several major design flaws in the human body. Teeth are obviously one. The male member is another, with its autonomous nervous system and tiny, fickle brain. Then there are the ears.
Men ar...
20 years later and still on the run…
On The Run appeared in the Cape Times 20 years ago today.
Some of you were still at school. The euro had just been introduced. A cellphone featuring a built-in camera was released. Elon Musk had just...
A dog day afternoon
To mark International Dog Day, here's an excerpt from my book, Ben Trovato's Art of Survival, which never won any awards at all.
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Let us be clear on one thing. Dogs are animal...
Dear King Misuzulu kaZwelithini…
Bayede! Am I saying that right? Men dressed as leopards were shouting it on the telly on Saturday during your coronation. I apologise that my isiZulu isn't up to scratch. We can't all be Christopher b...
Free drugs at the High Court Night Shelter
If superior beings on a distant planet had a listening device pointed at the Earth, all they'd pick up from South Africa is a dull whine. The sound of millions of people complaining, carping and criti...
Happy International Catwoman Day
Today being International Cat Day, I was reminded of the time my wife moved out.
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As a parting gift, Brenda left me the cat. No doubt it will become a bargaining chip once papers are...
Mascara maketh the man
Being in the media, albeit on the shadowy, run-down fringes where the rats don't run, I come across a lot of headlines. They often tell me all I need to know and I move swiftly along for the sake of m...
Lost in translation
My old mate Ted dropped in unannounced the other day, an offence punishable by extreme violence. He said he didn’t have time to make an appointment with someone who last answered his phone in 2014. Ev...