A Floydian Slip
Dear Julius,
I was sorry to hear about your break-up with Floyd. The collapse of a relationship is no laughing matter. Actually, that's not true. When my second marriage ended I laughed for days. B...
An open letter to Julius Malema…
Dear Julius Malema, First Marshal of the Empire and Supreme Commander of the Underclass,
Congratulations on the epic piece of revolutionary theatre you put on over the weekend at FNB Stadium. Speakin...
The shutdown that wasn’t
I'm writing this on Sunday afternoon, the day before the big shutdown. It's quite exciting, not knowing how things will turn out. It's like Schrödinger's Revolution. Until Monday, it's both a massive ...
Dear Julius Malema, Supreme Commander of the Economic Freedom Fighters…
Congratulations on your magnificent performance in the Cape Town City Hall last week. You and your fighters looked good in your well-pressed designer overalls. Unlike the DA, who came dressed as if th...
ANC deploys weapons of mass distraction
A few days ago I watched a 40-second video posted on Twitter by the Gauteng Department of Roads and Transport. It was titled, “Arrival of hot asphalt.” It came with the hashtag, #SmartMobility and fea...
Smocks cocked with Kurt Darren and Cardinal Pillar
Did you know the word “manifesto” comes from the Greek ‘mani’ meaning ‘shameless’ and ‘festo’ meaning ‘lies’? Of course you did. The word has featured a lot over the last few days and we haven't heard...
A darkies’ guide to whiteys
White South Africans, much like white sharks, are one of the most misunderstood animals on the planet. They have a reputation for unpredictable behaviour and non-Caucasians are often afraid to venture...
Clicks-bait and other hair-raising tales
My column for Wednesday, 9 September, is out.
You know what to do.
Subscribe monthly or even pay for just a single edition. That's R7.70. You can't even get a beer for that.
Subscribe here: h...
Clicks-bait and other hair-raising tales
My column for Wednesday, 8 September, is out.
You know what to do.
Subscribe monthly or even pay for just a single edition. That's R7.70. You can't even get a beer for that.
Subscribe here: h...
RIP FW LMFAO
Now seems like a good a time as any to republish my February 2020 letter to FW de Klerk....
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Dear FW,
Congratulations on officially achieving the rank of Most Hated Man in South Africa....
The dark side of change
It’s unlikely I was the only one suffering from a minor medical emergency last Sunday. Having tried all the regular remedies – aspirin, fried food, suicide – I dragged my shattered carcass off to the ...
Malema declares war on media
News that Julius Malema had banned certain media from attending EFF events reminded me of a letter I wrote to him a few months ago. I'm still waiting for a reply.
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Dear Comrade ...