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~the literary equivalent of sex with a clown~

09 Nov
Cut&Run

Of Stalingrad, Gaza and Floyd the Fluffer

  • November 9, 2023
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 9 comments
I was wondering on Monday, my thinking day, why don't we have cheaper petrol since Big Oil is making record profits? Raking in millions of dollars in the time it took me to write that sentence. Then I...

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27 Oct
Cut&Run

Zuma – more cunning than linguist

  • November 1, 2022
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 17 comments
On Saturday I made the terrible mistake of switching to the live stream of Jacob Zuma's so-called “address to the nation”, as touted by his obsequious handlanger, Jimmy Manyi.

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22 Jul
Cut&Run

Well, that was a weird attempted coup

  • July 22, 2021
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 11 comments
Halfway decent insurrectionists generally target government facilities and take over the state broadcaster. Ours targeted Shoprite and took over the bottle stores. Also, coup plotters usually rely on ...

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16 Apr
Columns

A darkies’ guide to whiteys

  • April 16, 2021
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 6 comments
White South Africans, much like white sharks, are one of the most misunderstood animals on the planet. They have a reputation for unpredictable behaviour and non-Caucasians are often afraid to venture...

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09 Feb
Cut&Run

Dear Jacob Zuma

  • February 9, 2021
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 17 comments
I never thought I would write you another letter, and yet here we are again. It is truly sad to see an innocent old man being so unjustly hounded by judges, magistrates, prosecutors, non-government...

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19 Nov
Columns, Cut&Run

Jacob Zuma – On The Run

  • November 19, 2020
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 2 comments
I usually avoid watching the Zondo Commission because I find it triggering. Evidence leader Kate Hofmeyr reminds me of an Afrikaans girlfriend I once had who interrogated me relentlessly if I failed t...

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19 Feb
Columns

RIP FW LMFAO

  • November 11, 2021
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 48 comments
Now seems like a good a time as any to republish my February 2020 letter to FW de Klerk.... –––––– Dear FW, Congratulations on officially achieving the rank of Most Hated Man in South Africa....

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26 Aug
Cut&Run

A requiem for Gavin Watson

  • August 26, 2019
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 20 comments
The news that one of South Africa's best loved white-collar criminals has died in a car crash reminded me of a letter I wrote to him and his brothers earlier this year. ............... Dear Gavi...

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04 Mar
Uncategorized

An open letter to our shiny new president

  • March 4, 2018
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 0 comments
Dear Comrade Cyril Ramaphosa the First, Defeater of Zuma, Shuffler of Cabinets, Player of Golf, Shaker of Hands, King of Venda Financing, Stepfather of the Nation, I hereby greet you. I wanted to be t...

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18 Feb
Uncategorized

Throw them to the lions

  • February 18, 2018
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 1 comment
I was woken by church bells last Thursday morning. The sky was a brilliant shade of blue and the birds seemed happier than usual. I could hear the sound of children laughing. It felt as if I were livi...

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17 Dec
Uncategorized

Number One, your time is up

  • December 17, 2017
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 4 comments
Dear Comrade Jacob Zuma, Prince of Patronage, Fighter of Crime Fighters, King of the Courts, Defender of Lawsuits, Ambassador of Appeals, Bête Noire of the Bench. I get the feeling you might not be ar...

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15 Nov
Columns

Amazing Grace

  • November 15, 2017
  • By author-avatar Ben Trovato
  • 6 comments
Dear Comrade Grace, Congratulations on achieving what nobody else has been able to in 37 years – get Robert Mugabe to stand down. This is especially remarkable at a time when it was becoming increasin...

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