5 ways to get the perfect pandemic body
Lockdown has gnawed away at my fitness levels and I need to remedy this in case we become a proper police state. I don't want to have Cele's boys after me and find myself having to stop every couple o...
Bored in the RSA
I am starting to get the feeling this government might not think we're all that bright. I can understand where it comes from, I suppose, this notion that South Africans are morons. I can almost hear t...
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of Scotch, say the pie rats
Hello. My name is Ben, and I am an addict.
Ever since the government unbanned the sale and possession of hot pies, I have been roaming the streets looking to score. I can't get enough of them. No s...
Hey babe, take a walk on the solo side
I was standing outside my house last week wondering if I should go for a stroll or scratch the day and go back to bed. It was about midday. Just then a car drove slowly past. The driver saw me and sta...
June goes well with alcohol
I cannot bring myself to write another column about the only thing people are writing columns about. How much more can be said about a virus, a lockdown or a government that ... I can't. I just can't....
Surfers waive the rules
In these outlandish times, the measure of all things needs to be constantly recalibrated if we hope to stand a chance of emerging relatively healthy and sane. So I don't know if what is happening is a...
Of pork pies and piglets
Bit tricksy, this lifting of the locky-locky.
We don't know how it's going to work, but then again, I'm pretty sure they don't either. In South Africa, the word 'they' is a bullet that's been fired...
Truth, lies and exercise
I hear lots of crazy stuff all day long and it's not always just in my head either. For instance, I heard that the reason the government is keeping its Covid-19 modelling data from the public is becau...
Dear Cyril …
Dear Comrade President Ramaphosa, Defender of the Lockdown, Punisher of the Pandemic, Destroyer of the Economy, Nemesis of Smokers and Drinkers.
May I call you Cyril? I don't mean to be overfamilia...
Lockdown Extended – words to make you weep
My ungovernable publisher, Melinda Ferguson, has made good on her threat to bring out a new ebook by this weekend.
Lockdown Extended is now available for download on Kindle or Kobo (links below).
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Publisher goes berserk – brings out second book
Less than three weeks ago, my out of control publisher Melinda Ferguson got the demented idea of bringing out an eBook called Lockdown – The Corona Chronicles, featuring seventeen South African writer...
Publisher goes mad – brings out book
Less than two weeks ago, my batshit crazy publisher Melinda Ferguson got the demented idea of bringing out an eBook called Lockdown – The Corona Chronicles, featuring seventeen South African writers. ...