Daft bats, fraidy cats and expats
While Mark Zuckerberg is almost certainly the antichrist and his creation a thing of great evil, Facebook does toss up some interesting things as we snuffle about like derelict bottom feeders sifting ...
Raiding the municipal piggy bank
Our shiny new president is so far proving a much safer bet than the previous model, which was about as trustworthy as a Ford Kuga on a hot day. Jacob Zuma's tendency to burst into song rather than fla...
A Letter to Kallie Kriel, Caucasian-in-Chief of AfriForum
Hello Oom Kallie. How is it going with Oom? Is it okay with Oom if I call Oom Oom? I believe it is a mark of respect in our culture, although if someone calls me Oom I want to punch him in the mouth. ...
And with a lick of her lips, she started to strip (her moer)
Dear Mmusi Maimane, Bleeder of the Opposition.
Congratulations on finally getting rid of your mayor in Cape Town. Patricia de Lille is extremely dangerous and I'm not saying that just because she is a...
Gimme an issue …
It’s not easy, this column-writing lark.
Well, the actual writing is relatively easy. I’ve been doing it long enough not to have to pace up and down, kick the furniture and scream into the night every...
Run, Caster, Run
Imagine a brain surgeon so good at what he does that people would rather die than take their brains elsewhere to be repaired. Imagine he was in such demand that all the other brain surgeons were force...
Send the exorcists to Canberra
Oi! Yeah, you. Australia. I'm talking to you. What's your problem, mate? A travel advisory? Is this because we caught your cricket blokes cheating? Seems a bit harsh.
Our gummint reckons your advisory...
Farmyard follies
So how about them farmers, eh?
I don't know much about them because I don't move in crop circles or have any truck with livestock, but I think it's important to get an insight into their lives. It can...
Oy vey it's the DJ
Dear DJ Black Coffee,
Shalom and congratulations on becoming a household name across South Africa. Thanks to your gig in Israel on the Easter weekend, even white people have heard of you now. To be ho...
And the banned play on
Now and then I hear of someone who has been banned from Facebook for a period of time and I try to imagine what heinous filth they must have been disseminating for such harsh action to be taken.
Were ...
Advance Australia Unfair
G'day Peter Dutton, Australian Minister of Home Affairs, Immigration & Whatever Else Takes Your Fancy.
First off, congratulations on being called the Donald Trump of Australia. That's quite an acc...
Eat my shorts, scientist tells God
The death this week of physicist Stephen Hawking sparked an avalanche of tributes, not all of which were riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. It's Stephen with a Ph. No, not Phteven. And Hawk...