19
May
28
Mar
No more Mr Freebie guy…
Right, then.
Every once in a while, I get the need to shake things up. That's my five-year plan. Try to fix stuff that isn't broken. Ruin a good thing. Fill the comfort zone with pepper spray and loc...
21
Mar
The name’s Grant … Disability Grant
I was appalled to hear that our Minister of Money, Enoch Godongwana, has increased the Social Relief of Distress grant by a staggering R20. The poor already have an overweening sense of entitlement. N...
27
Jan
Surviving an election year
If you're an Aquarian, it won't have escaped your notice that 2024, added up, gives you the number 8. You may already be feeling the effects. Eight, like Leos, is not to be taken lightly. Dismiss it a...
18
Jan
Dear six year olds…
I usually write to our high school “graduates” offering bad advice on how to negotiate the perils of the real world, but there's nothing I can do for Generation D. That stands for Doomed, in case you ...
12
Jan
Cyril Ramaphosa’s January 8 statement leaked
Comrades and compatriots,
People of South Africa,
We gather here today in Mangaung, the cradle of our birth, inspired by … hold on, this is last year's speech. Nobody wrote me a new one? It doesn't ...
04
Jan
2024 – A peachy, fuzzy kind of year
Oh, man. This is not going well. I can't wait for 2025. Now, that's going to be a cracker of a year.
Perhaps I should take a closer look at this one before writing it off completely.
The United Nati...
21
Dec
Shady Jake, the one-eyed trouser snake
I thought I was hallucinating when I heard Jacob Zuma's uniquely soporific drone on the telly, bumbling along at his usual three words a minute and setting off polygraph machines across the country.
...
08
Dec
Politicians playing presidential Tinder
Party leaders have begun shyly trying on their sexiest outfits and practising their best pick-up lines as they prepare to woo us. If they hope to become the president of South Africa next year, they'r...
01
Dec
Moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake
I don't know where I live. No, I'm not wandering around unfamiliar neighbourhoods stopping people in the street and asking if they know who I am and where my house is. It must be said, however, that I...
25
Nov
Dear Comrade Premier Panyaza Lesufi…
Congratulations on having the courage to embark on your long unofficial journey to the presidency. People say you're a populist as if that's a bad thing. Who doesn't want to be popular? I have been un...
09
Nov
Of Stalingrad, Gaza and Floyd the Fluffer
I was wondering on Monday, my thinking day, why don't we have cheaper petrol since Big Oil is making record profits? Raking in millions of dollars in the time it took me to write that sentence. Then I...