Publisher goes mad – brings out book
Less than two weeks ago, my batshit crazy publisher Melinda Ferguson got the demented idea of bringing out an eBook called Lockdown – The Corona Chronicles, featuring seventeen South African writers. ...
It’s not a proper pandemic unless there are zombies
Lockdown is a prison term. It's when there is trouble afoot and convicts are restricted to their cells. There's trouble alright, but not from us inmates. No, sir, Mr Ramaphosa. We're good, obedient ci...
Read it and weep (with laughter)
Right. Since we are all essentially trapped in our homes, we're going to need to find things to laugh about if we aren't going to turn on each other like rats in a cage. Making fun of each other's sho...
Isolation for the nation
There's almost a festive atmosphere in our supermarkets at the moment. Trolleys are full and the queues are long. It feels a bit like Christmas, but instead of exchanging gifts we're going to be givin...
Coronavirus – No Laughing Matter
There is a giant killer asteroid heading our way. The bad news is that it's going to miss us by six million kilometres. We desperately need something to put this coronavirus fiasco into perspective, a...
Peter Pandemic and his pet pig
This latest pandemic panic reminded me of a column I wrote eleven years ago when we were all preparing to die from swine flu. Here's a flashback to that terrible time.
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No sex please, we’re Zulus
God save the king. Somebody has to. Save him from himself, I mean. Perhaps what I should say is, God save us from the king.
King Goodwill Zwelithini is no stranger to controversy, although I doubt ...
RIP FW LMFAO
Now seems like a good a time as any to republish my February 2020 letter to FW de Klerk....
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Dear FW,
Congratulations on officially achieving the rank of Most Hated Man in South Africa....
Apartheid? Ah, the good old days
The good thing about the Internet is also the bad thing. Everyone is pretty much free to spread as much love and hate as they wish. Occasionally I find myself a member of a Facebook group which I have...
Don Jr and the Beach Boys are killing it
Dear Safari Club International,
I just wanted to wish you well for your annual trophy hunting bonanza that kicked off in Reno, Nevada, today.
Thousands of hunters from around the world are there...
Patrice Motsepe – The Art of the Schmooze
I have only just stopped gagging at the sight of Patrice Motsepe giving Donald Trump a fondle in full view of everyone at a World Economic Forum dinner in Davos.
It was like watching a porno where ...
One crocodile, one bullet
Dear CapeNature,
During the December holidays you gave permission to a farmer to shoot a crocodile. Well done. If there is anything this country needs, it's fewer crocodiles. Any animal with that m...