Annie Got Her Gun
I wanted to write about the recent dramatic developments on the local government front. I really did. It's got to be worth something, right? Stop me if you've heard this one. The DA, the ACDP, the UDM...
Caster's return – A flashback
The last time Caster Semenya returned home victorious was after the Berlin world championships in 2009. This is what I wrote then. Let’s hope it goes a little better this time around.
While the...
Licence of the lambs
I had a friend stay with me for a few days last week. I hadn't seen him in years. He hasn't aged much and weighs the same as he did when he was 21. I told him he probably had that weird disease where ...
Lunchtime O’lympics
It is Day 10 of this sickening display of narcissism and there is still a week to go. I don't know how much longer I can endure lying on the couch shouting, “Run, you lazy bastard!” and “Lift those we...
Sex ‘n drugs ‘n frock ‘n roll
I am a feminist at heart and wouldn't claim to be anything else, so I called Ted and said we ought to celebrate our inner women by pretending to be women, which is what I expect women would want men t...
Women’s Month – Next year will be better
I was trying to figure out why the people who bring out this particular magazine had specifically chosen the August edition to pay tribute to women. Then I remembered. Both the publisher and the edito...
Paddling in the shallow end of the gene pool
Our very own doe-eyed Merman, Chad le Clos, goes up against his arch-rival Michael Phelps in the Rio Olympics today. Here's something I wrote about the Baltimore Bullet a few years ago.
THAT ...
Application for the position of Public Protector
TO: Vhonani Ramaano, Secretary of the Ad Hoc Committee to Nominate a Person for Appointment as Public Protector
FROM: Advocate Ben Trovato
Dear Sir,
I assume you are a sir and not a mad...
An open letter to SABC chief Hlaudi Motsoeneng
Dear Comrade Oberstgruppenfuhrer Hlaudi Motsoeneng the First, Commander of the SABC in General and the Airwaves in Particular, Guardian of Local Content, Master of Invention, Supreme Defender of the T...
A whitey’s guide for darkies
White South Africans, much like white sharks, are one of the most misunderstood animals on the planet. They have a reputation for unpredictable behaviour and non-Caucasians are often afraid to venture...
My doctor might have murdered me
I am girding my loins for the antibiotic apocalypse and I suggest you do the same. Actually, what you do with your loins is none of my business.
I get sick once a year when the seasons turn. This yea...
Getting the fox to guard the hen house
The Trump campaign has pledged to nominate a hunter to lead the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, aggressively fight lawsuits by anti-hunting groups and control predators like wolves.
Guess who is top ...