Bravely entering virgin territory
It's the annual Reed Dance today. I was invited to one a few years ago... I knew this assignment was going to be different the moment I got the call. “How would you like to join the King of the Zulus ...
Happy International Catwoman Day
Today being International Cat Day, I was reminded of the time my wife moved out.
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As a parting gift, Brenda left me the cat. No doubt it will become a bargaining chip once papers are...
Trannies without fannies
Men don’t really know how to celebrate Women’s Day without running the risk of being called patronising or sexist. All we can do, really, is dress up as a woman and feel what it’s like to walk in thei...
Happy International Catwoman Day
Today being International Cat Day, I was reminded of the time my wife moved out.
––––––––––––
As a parting gift, Brenda left me the cat. No doubt it will become a bargaining chip once papers are...
Swallowing is good for you
The European swallow stands about five-foot-six in its socks, burns easily in the sun and enjoys a pint or two with the lads. It is also a small migratory bird.
In our summer months, the European swal...
We're the A Team – We don't need reserves
Next to beer, I think petrol is my most favourite liquid. You can huff it to get high, use it to make Molotov cocktails and put it in your car so you drive to the bottle store. Trained professionals a...
Sex ‘n drugs ‘n frock ‘n roll
I am a feminist at heart and wouldn't claim to be anything else, so I called Ted and said we ought to celebrate our inner women by pretending to be women, which is what I expect women would want men t...
Tap-dancing gorillas and tenants from hell
Did you know that gorillas make up "food songs" while they eat? A German scientist discovered this "fun new fact" while working with the primates in the Congo. I don't think it's a fun fact at all. I ...
An open letter to Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula
Dear Comrade Fiks,
Well done on cracking down on sports that don't have enough darkies in their teams. This is Africa, not Scandinavia. Did you know that in some parts of Norway you aren't even allow...
Ready, aim, swallow …
Airbnb is a wonderful thing. You can make money simply by not being at home. Well, obviously other people need to be there for the money thing to happen. The downside is that you then have to be somew...
An open letter to our fearless leader
Dear Comrade Dr Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma the First, President of the Republic of South Africa, Head of the Household, Defender of the Faith, Pastor of the Flock, Defeater of the Mbeki, Unifier of the...
Crafting a new revolution
There is so much to write about this week. The crisis at the country's universities. Oscar Pistorius' release into controlled captivity. Britain's unseemly fawning over the president of one of the wor...