white south africans Archives

03 May

An open letter to Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula

May 3, 2016
By Ben Trovato
18 comments

Dear Comrade Fiks, Well done on cracking down on sports that don't have enough darkies in their teams. This is Africa, not Scandinavia. Did you know that in some parts of Norway you aren't even allow...

15 Nov

Uncategorized

An open letter to our fearless leader

November 15, 2015
By Ben Trovato
11 comments

Dear Comrade Dr Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma the First, President of the Republic of South Africa, Head of the Household, Defender of the Faith, Pastor of the Flock, Defeater of the Mbeki, Unifier of the...

25 Oct

Uncategorized

Crafting a new revolution

October 25, 2015
By Ben Trovato
2 comments

There is so much to write about this week. The crisis at the country's universities. Oscar Pistorius' release into controlled captivity. Britain's unseemly fawning over the president of one of the wor...

19 Oct

Uncategorized

Maid in South Africa

October 19, 2015
By Ben Trovato
3 comments

The exchange of labour for money is the greatest confidence trick since some dude called Abraham duped his slave into paying for his own circumcision. I don't know the finer details but apparently it'...

06 Oct

Uncategorized

White male gets blackmailed

October 6, 2015
By Ben Trovato
6 comments

Someone is trying to blackmail me and, quite frankly, I'm delighted. I consider it an honour and it shall become the latest addition to my heavily embellished curriculum vitae. The blackmailers call ...

04 Oct

Uncategorized

Dear Saudi Arabia

October 4, 2015
By Ben Trovato
5 comments

Congratulations on your decision to kill the Shiite boy who goes by the name Ali Mohammed al-Nimr. Teenagers are dreadful at the best of times, what with their sighing and eye-rolling and endless dema...

26 Sep

Columns

Rum & Rugby

September 26, 2015
By Ben Trovato
6 comments

“BOKKE!” Excuse me? Are you shouting at me? You, who called the cops because my music was too loud? You, whose bastard dog wakes me every morning? You, who has co-opted a clenched fist salute...

16 Sep

Columns

God is a counter-evolutionary

September 16, 2015
By Ben Trovato
6 comments

I don't know whether it was a dream or if I read it somewhere – I think I must have read it because I have lived in South Africa all my life and only have nightmares, not dreams – but I recall somethi...

14 Sep

Uncategorized

Backwards to the future

September 14, 2015
By Ben Trovato
2 comments

Dear Comrade President Zuma, Congratulations on your narrow escape at the reed dance in Nongoma the other day. I was alarmed to read that hundreds of bare-breasted virgins had become possessed by dem...

10 Sep

Columns

Do we panic now or later?

September 10, 2015
By Ben Trovato
5 comments

I would like to commend America for alerting its citizens in South Africa to a possible terrorist attack on US interests in our magnificent country. It's important to take care of one's own. The warn...

08 Sep

Uncategorized

September 8, 2015
By Ben Trovato
7 comments

I bought a container of cherries this week because it's been a while since I had a cherry. In more ways than one. Cherries are the heroin of the fruit world and they were down my gullet in ninety sec...

02 Sep

Columns

Not much wealth, but certainly common

September 2, 2015
By Ben Trovato
1 comment

Something I wrote a few months back. Parties exploded across Durban when Edmonton withdrew its bid to host the 2022 Commonwealth Games, leaving this glittering jewel of the east coast the sol...

BEN TROVATO

~ the literary equivalent of sex with a clown ~

BEN TROVATO

An open letter to Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula

An open letter to our fearless leader

Crafting a new revolution

Maid in South Africa

White male gets blackmailed

Dear Saudi Arabia

Rum & Rugby

God is a counter-evolutionary

Backwards to the future

Do we panic now or later?

Not much wealth, but certainly common

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