Off to the tropics, thanks to Eskom
I can't help feeling a little envious when I read posts on social media by people who are struggling to cope with this festering pandemic and all its diabolical trappings. I feel cheated, somehow. Whe...
When days are dark … call Alfred
A tweet came through from Eskom on Sunday afternoon. It said: “Just Energy Transition – Re-invigorating, rejuvenating, and redefining Eskom’s destiny as we lead the energy transition into the future. ...
Weird frog sex and other reasons why the sixth mass extinction might not be so bad
Inexplicably, the world seems more interested in the Glasgow climate conference than it is in our local elections. While our profligate politicians prepare to hop whorishly into bed with one another i...
Happy Halloween, you filthy pagans
It's Halloween tonight and I, for one, cannot wait to put on my succubus suit and go creeping around the neighbourhood late at night banging on doors, shouting: “Trick or treat!” The real sport starts...
A tale of two laptops … it was the worst of times
Late at night, when the traffic has died down and the children have been switched off, if you listen very carefully you can hear the sound of slavering. It's the sound of more than 60 000 prospective ...
ANC deploys weapons of mass distraction
A few days ago I watched a 40-second video posted on Twitter by the Gauteng Department of Roads and Transport. It was titled, “Arrival of hot asphalt.” It came with the hashtag, #SmartMobility and fea...
If you have to breed, please don’t fly
There's nothing like air travel to reinforce the notion that hell is other people. And it's all so much worse if they have recently spawned. If adults carried on like children, we'd be locked up. Ther...
Smocks cocked with Kurt Darren and Cardinal Pillar
Did you know the word “manifesto” comes from the Greek ‘mani’ meaning ‘shameless’ and ‘festo’ meaning ‘lies’? Of course you did. The word has featured a lot over the last few days and we haven't heard...
What do you mean I’m going to die?
I've been doing a bit of adulting and I must say it's heavily overrated. It started when I saw a doctor for a minor complaint and she began pointing out the importance of taking proper care of one's b...
The Treasury extends a medium rare invitation to us steakholders
It's not often that the ANC government invites the walking class to do anything other than vote for it, so my curiosity was piqued when I saw a story that began, “National Treasury has invited the pub...
Leopards on special this week: Get ’em while they’re fresh!
Dear Brian Roodt, Owner of Quality Hunting Safaris, Purveyor of Fine Animals,
I read in the Sunday Mirror that you have rhinos and leopards on special. That's fantastic news. There's a special on b...
Zero tolerance for zero alcohol
It was the headline that snagged my attention.
“Turn coffee breaks into beer breaks on National Take a Beer to Work Day”. What? Had I just woken from a coma and it's 2071? Had South Africa finally tu...