A very peri new year to you all
2022 is going to be an interesting ride in much the same way that travelling bareback on a donkey with saddlebags full of marijuana from Lesotho to Durban would be an interesting ride.
I don't unde...
The jellysloths and flying snakes of the ANC
How peculiar to live in a country where the only person still capable of being shocked is the president. Not that I am currently in the country. If you've been paying attention, you will know that I a...
Viva Omicron, viva!
The thing with South Africans is that we don't know when to be proud and when to be ashamed of our country.
Take Omicron. The unpatriotic counter-revolutionaries say that our variant hunters who trac...
Paradise, in the nick of time
The road to paradise is paved with bad airlines. Okay, Turkish Air isn't the worst I've flown on, but to offer me no more than one beer on a long-haul flight comes close to violating my basic human ri...
Off to the tropics, thanks to Eskom
I can't help feeling a little envious when I read posts on social media by people who are struggling to cope with this festering pandemic and all its diabolical trappings. I feel cheated, somehow. Whe...
When days are dark … call Alfred
A tweet came through from Eskom on Sunday afternoon. It said: “Just Energy Transition – Re-invigorating, rejuvenating, and redefining Eskom’s destiny as we lead the energy transition into the future. ...
Weird frog sex and other reasons why the sixth mass extinction might not be so bad
Inexplicably, the world seems more interested in the Glasgow climate conference than it is in our local elections. While our profligate politicians prepare to hop whorishly into bed with one another i...
A tale of two laptops … it was the worst of times
Late at night, when the traffic has died down and the children have been switched off, if you listen very carefully you can hear the sound of slavering. It's the sound of more than 60 000 prospective ...
ANC deploys weapons of mass distraction
A few days ago I watched a 40-second video posted on Twitter by the Gauteng Department of Roads and Transport. It was titled, “Arrival of hot asphalt.” It came with the hashtag, #SmartMobility and fea...
If you have to breed, please don’t fly
There's nothing like air travel to reinforce the notion that hell is other people. And it's all so much worse if they have recently spawned. If adults carried on like children, we'd be locked up. Ther...
Smocks cocked with Kurt Darren and Cardinal Pillar
Did you know the word “manifesto” comes from the Greek ‘mani’ meaning ‘shameless’ and ‘festo’ meaning ‘lies’? Of course you did. The word has featured a lot over the last few days and we haven't heard...
What do you mean I’m going to die?
I've been doing a bit of adulting and I must say it's heavily overrated. It started when I saw a doctor for a minor complaint and she began pointing out the importance of taking proper care of one's b...